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Key Bible Verse: Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged 1 Corinthians 13:5. Bonus Reading: Ephesians 4:31-5:2

Jana and I had just weathered a stressful week. I'd spent the previous two weeks traveling for business, and had to make presentations to clients that week. And that week Jana moved her mother into a retirement community. I had to watch the kids while she got her mom settled. By the weekend, we were exhausted.

On Sunday evening I decided to run to my office (which is ten minutes away) to pick up some work. Jana was busy checking her e-mail, so I left without telling her. I thought, I'll just step out and come back; I won't be missed. But I know Jana wants a connection before I go anywhere, even to bed.

When I came home, Jana said, "Dave, you were gone for 30 minutes. You know I hate when you don't tell me you're leaving. Are you mad at me?"

I thought, Am I? I knew I wasn't. But by leaving without doing something I know she likes, I was being passive-aggressive. After a couple of weeks of getting no attention, I responded by thinking, I'll just leave and see if she misses me.

We think it's no big deal. But it is. Underneath is a deep current that says, My needs aren't getting met, so I'm not going to meet yours. Passivity, or not taking initiative in your marriage, is spiritually dangerous and crippling.

—Dave Goetz in Marriage Partnership

My Response: What perceived slight am I replaying that I need to erase?

Thought to Apply: You can bear your own faults, and why not a fault in your wife?—Benjamin Franklin

Adapted from our sister publication Marriage Partnership (Winter/06).

Copyright © 2008 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine.Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity.

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Prayer for the Week

Deliver me, sovereign Lord, from attempting to manage You. Help me to honor You by trusting and submitting to Your control.

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