What Brightens Her Day?
Theme of the Week: A Husband's Sacrifice Play
Jim Burns
Friday, February 15, 2008
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Key Bible Verse: Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body Proverbs 16:24. Bonus Reading: Romans 15:2-3, ; 5-7
Showing encouragement involves being available to your wife. Your presence in your wife's life sometimes speaks louder than words. Your availability, both physically and emotionally, says to her that she is in a safe relationship.
Even though I've been married to Cathy for more than 31 years, and the most important love language for me personally is affirmation, I still have trouble at times giving the right kind of encouragement to Cathy. You'll need to literally make a study of your wife to figure out the most effective ways to encourage and affirm. Cathy appreciates complimentary words, but what she really appreciates is when I show empathy and understanding for what she's going through in life and give her help with her responsibilities.
When Cathy is overwhelmed with the workload and responsibilities of her life, the most valuable thing I can do is fold the clothes, clean up a bit, and make sure that I'm taking things off her plate, not adding anything else to it. For Cathy, doing the dishes together is an affirming experience. It's not for me. I'd rather "divide and conquer" our household responsibilities. But sometimes I have to whisper to myself, "This isn't about me—it's about her!"
—Jim Burns in Creating an Intimate Marriage
My Response: My wife is most affirmed when I …
Thought to Apply: In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic.—H. Norman Wright & Gary Oliver (counselors)
Adapted from Creating an Intimate Marriage (Bethany, 2006) by permission.
Copyright © 2008 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine.Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity. 1 of 1
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Deliver me, sovereign Lord, from attempting to manage You. Help me to honor You by trusting and submitting to Your control.
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