1 of 1

Key Bible Verse: There was an immediate bond of love between them, and they became the best of friends 1 Samuel 18:1. Bonus Reading: 1 Sam. 18:1-4; ; 20:8-17

If a friendship deepens over time, intimacy increases in depth and breadth. In fact, this is one of the best measures of a growth in a friendship.

Spiritual friends share with each other at the level of their soul. This doesn't mean that they talk about only serious, personal, or spiritual matters. However, if they never share at this level, the relationship is not worthy of being called a spiritual—or soul—friendship. Soul refers to the whole person, with particular attention to one's inner life. Soul intimacy, therefore, is built on sharing the inner self. Sharing at the level of their souls means that friends' intimacy is not restricted to experiences with the external world.

Friends who enjoy soul intimacy never settle for gossip or simple information exchange. Instead, they use the data of events as springboards for the sharing of feelings, perceptions, values, ideas, and opinions. The conversations of such friends are never merely about what happened in their lives or the world, but move from this to how they experience, react to, and understand what happened. Dialogue continually moves from the surface to the depths, from the external to the internal. This is the crucial distinctive of dialogue in spiritual friendships.

—David Benner in The Transformation of a Man's Heart

My Response: Would I find sharing at this level scary or attractive? Why?

Thought to Apply: "We few, we happy few, we band of brothers." —William Shakespeare (Henry V's St. Crispin's Day speech)

Adapted from The Transformation of a Man's Heart (InterVarsity, 2006) by permission.

Copyright © 2008 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine.Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity.

 1 of 1

share this page

Prayer for the Week

Lord, I invite you to work in my life through a real friend. And please use me in his life as well.

				Try an Issue of Men of Integrity Free! Name Street Address City/State/Zip E-mail Address No credit card required. Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. Offer valid in U.S. only. Click here for International orders. If you decide you want to keep Men of Integrity coming, honor your invoice for just $19.95 and receive five more issues, a full year in all. If not, simply write "cancel" across the invoice and return it. The trial issue is yours to keep, regardless. Give Men of Integrity as a gift Buy 1 gift subscription, get 1 FREE!

FREE Newsletter Sign up for the Men of Integrity Newsletter (All fields required)    RSS Feed   RSS Help