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Home > Men > Relate Better > To my wife & family

Men of Integrity, May/June 2008

Flee or Face Up?
Theme of the Week: Resolving Marriage Discord
Monday, May 12

Key Bible Verse: "Why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own?" (Luke 6:41). Bonus Reading: Luke 6:42

Recently I began to realize how I've contributed to the arguments in my marriage with a disapproving glance or a probing question that subtly belittles Mary. Her hostile attacks used to send me scurrying to my study, where I'd sulk and pity myself for long periods of time.

Once in a great while, she still comes at me rather aggressively, and my first reaction is still to run to the safety of my study. But I no sooner close the door than the Lord begins to deal with me. "What are you doing in here?" I hear in my thoughts.

"I just came in here to get away from the verbal barrage, Lord."

"You need to go out there and admit your part of the blame."

"But Lord, you heard what she said. That was totally unreasonable and untrue. It hurt. I need time to heal."

"Go out and admit your part of the blame."

It doesn't take several days for Mary and me to confront the problem anymore—usually just several minutes. And by then, Mary has started to think about her part of the blame as well. These days we're more readily able to acknowledge our wrong, seek the other's forgiveness, embrace, and proceed joyfully.

—Richard Strauss in Growing a Healthy Marriage

My Response: I may have contributed to my wife's feelings of hurt or rejection by …

Adapted from Growing a Healthy Marriage (Focus on the Family, 1993) by permission.

Copyright © 2008 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity.

May/June 2008, Vol. 11, No. 3

0  Prayer for the Week 0

Lord, help me take the initiative in repairing any damaged relationships in my marriage.





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