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Key Bible Verse: For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. … For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church ( Ephesians 5:22, 25).Bonus Reading: Eph. 5:21-29

Most men are afraid to lead. But that's the responsibility that God has assigned to the husband. So even if he's utterly convinced that his wife does a better job of leading, the wise man will find his footing and assume his proper role.

An excellent time to practice leadership and guidance is after a disagreement. When my wife and I argue, when the relationship is torn, it is my role as a man to initiate the repair. She knows it, submits to it, and is glad to have it so. I must make the first move when we are both wounded and hesitant to do so. Why? Because headship means "go ahead." It means getting things started. That's my responsibility in the matter. If I fail at this moment, it would be akin to the lead figure skater dropping his partner on the ice. My wife would be hurt all the more, and I would be left with a wounded wife. What is the victory in that?

Likewise, my wife doesn't run off somewhere. She stays within reach, and she stays quiet. She knows what is going on. I am thinking and preparing and resisting and finally initiating the work of reconciliation.

—John Ensor in Doing Things Right

My Response: When needed, I will initiate reconciliation by ____

Thought to Apply: Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.—Zig Ziglar (sales trainer & motivational speaker)

Adapted from Doing Things Right (Crossway, 2007) by permission.

Copyright © 2008 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine. Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity.

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Prayer for the Week

Lord, help me take the initiative in repairing any damaged relationships in my marriage.

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