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Key Bible Verse: A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. (Proverbs 15:1). Bonus Reading: Proverbs 12:18; 15:4

One of my partners became angry with me during a conference call. Rather than yelling back, I forced myself to lower my voice and calmly and quietly answer his argument. He instantly lowered his volume, changed his tone of voice, and listened to me.

I can lose my temper as easily as the next guy. But as soon as I realize what's happening, I hear [today's Key Bible Verse] echoing in my ear. I must then decide: Do I continue to use harsh words and escalate the anger, or choose calming words, a soft tone of voice, and more gentle gestures? Nearly every time I've turned to softness, anger has been dispelled. When I'm the one who is angry, I'm almost instantly calmed. When someone is angry at me, it may take a minute or so to calm them down, but rarely longer.

With four children at home, at least one argument erupts every day. When I speak softly, there's usually instant de-escalation. Don't be discouraged if it doesn't produce an immediate result. Sometimes a person is so enraged that you must respond gently for several minutes before he begins to calm down.

—Steven Scott in The Richest Man Who Ever Lived

My Response: When anger is directed my way, does my response increase or decrease the tension?

Thought to Apply: Reconciliation is not weakness or cowardice. It demands courage, nobility, generosity, sometimes heroism, an overcoming of oneself rather than of one's adversary. —Pope Paul VI

Adapted from The Richest Man Who Ever Lived (WaterBrook, 2006) by permission.

Copyright © 2009 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity.

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Prayer for the Week

If I'm ever to gain mastery over my temper, Lord, it will take your strength. I ask for that now.

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