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Key Bible Verse: My child, if your heart is wise, my own heart will rejoice! (Proverbs 23:15). Bonus Reading: Proverbs 23:22-26

Eighth grade started well for Kevin, elected class president. Then he began staying home on Fridays, claiming illness. After he missed three in a row, I said, "Help me understand why you're unwell only on Fridays."

Kevin, a master cartoonist, came clean. "Dad, PE class is on Fridays. I hate PE. I'm no jock and the other guys tease me."

"I bet it gets embarrassing," I replied.

"You don't know the half of it, Dad!" Kevin said, relieved.

 "But some of the athletic kids in PE are also in your art classes," I pressed on. "I'll bet they can't draw a stick but still give it their best shot."

"Well, yeah, there are two or three guys," Kevin admitted, "but I don't pick on them because they can't draw."

"There's no physical reason you can't do PE," I said, "and since you're class president, they can't all be teasing you. Go back and give it your best shot."

"I'll try," Kevin relented, "but I won't like it."

I put my arm around his shoulders. "Life is full of things that we don't like. Just take your licks and try."

Next weekend I asked Kevin how PE class went. "Okay, Dad," he said; "no big deal."

—Kevin Leman in Bringing Up Kids Without Tearing Them Down

My Response: To challenge without condemning, I need to  …

Thought to Apply: Of all gifts a parent can give a child, the gift of learning to make good choices is the most valuable and long-lasting. —Pat Holt & Grace Ketterman

Adapted from Bringing Up Kids Without Tearing Them Down (Nelson, 1995) by permission.

Copyright © 2009 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Men of Integrity.

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Prayer for the Week

Lord, help me learn ways to interact with my children that go beyond surface conformity to heart motivation.

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