But She's a Slob!
Theme of the week: How to Be a Caring Dad
Friday, July 9, 2010
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Key Bible Verse: So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. (Luke 15:20) Dig Deeper: Luke 15:11-32
A dad approached me after a seminar I had given. He was agitated.
"How can you say that I have to be 'pleased' with my daughter? Okay, yes, I love her; she's my daughter. But, especially right now, she is anything but pleasing."
"What I mean," I replied, "is that parental love demands that we remind ourselves that our care and commitment must be granted underneath, and above, and beyond any expectation or disappointment that arises. …"
"That's easy for you to say," he shot back. "She dropped out of school, lives at home, doesn't have a job, is lazy and sloppy, and mopes around the house all day. …"
At first the conversation deteriorated from there, but slowly this dad dropped his anger and began to see his daughter differently. The more he reflected on his daughter as a person he loved for more than 20 years, the more his eyes were pried open to her perspective and pain, and at the moment she was going through an extraordinarily tough time.
Understanding does not mean condoning [bad behavior]. To understand is to make sure your child knows you are committed to working hard at taking seriously the reality of your child's life.
—Chap Clark in Disconnected
My Response: What could I do to better understand my own children's struggles?
Thought to Apply: Children need guidance and sympathy far more than instruction.—Anne Sullivan (educator of the deaf and blind)
Adapted from Disconnected (Baker, 2007) by permission; All rights reserved by the copyright holder and/or the publisher. May not be reproduced.
Copyright © 2010 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine.
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Heavenly Father, show me how to truly care about the details of my children's lives; help me to be patient with their immaturity; guide me as I seek to discipline in God-honoring ways; help me to always love them unconditionally.
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