Romance is spectacular while it lasts, but it dies quickly if cut off from friendship. You must focus together on other sources of joy to keep the romance nourished. Variety in focus enhances the marriage by creating more interests and broadening the range of sources for joy.
To focus solely on each other to the exclusion of all else eventually wears thin. This explains why for a lot of couples, the mood right after the wedding ceremony could be described as, "Let the disappointment begin!" It happens all the time. Even the honeymoon falls flat.
In addition, all the tensions that are pent up in the last days of the engagement—things you thrust aside so they won't tarnish the buildup to the big day—tend to come flowing out after the wedding. As time goes on, more unmet expectations accumulate. You hone in on each other's weaknesses. You bear down on each other's faults. And if that is all you do, it's no wonder you can end up with so much disconnection early on. That is why friendship and doing things you enjoy is so important. You can sulk about your sorry situation or you can decide to get active, doing things you both enjoy.
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