Back to Men of Integrity Men of Integrity Issue: A new Day is coming
| My Account | Help

Engine Troubles
Theme of the Week: Owning Your Emotions
Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Average rating: [ see ratings/comments | 4 Comments ]

Key Bible Verse: Runaway emotions corrode the bones. (Proverbs 14:30, The Message)

Dig Deeper: Psalm 32

A friend had planned a weekend away with his wife to reconnect and rekindle a romance that had grown cold. All the pieces were in place: a nice bed-and-breakfast, an itinerary with nothing on it, and chocolate. Then the wheels fell off.

As often happens when there hasn't been any real conversation in a long time, issues that were lurking bubbled out because of an errant word. The weekend dissolved into anger, frustration, and tears. Rather than returning from the weekend renewed, the man came away uncertain, angry, [and] disappointed. But rather than address his disappointment in a healthy way with his wife, the man buried it. He told himself he was really okay and justified settling into a cool distance because life was so busy. He began acting out, pouring himself into pornography to placate his desire for a real connection with his wife.

Men are like an old car [leaking fluids] when it comes to emotions. If we don't acknowledge [our emotions] and talk about them, then they'll leak out in snarky side comments or passive-aggressive swipes at our friends, spouses, or kids. Or we'll just blow up, putting those around us in danger and creating an environment of fear and uncertainty.

—Darrin Patrick in The Dude's Guide to Manhood

My Response: When was a time I bottled up my emotions? What would I do differently if I could relive that moment?

Thought to Apply: Unexpressed feelings come forth later in uglier ways.—Stephen R. Covey (speaker, trainer, author)

Adapted from The Dude's Guide to Manhood by Darrin Patrick (Thomas Nelson, 2014) by permission. All rights reserved by the copyright holder and/or the publisher. May not be reproduced.

Prayer for the Week
Lord, you designed emotions, and they are a good thing. Please help me to keep my emotions in proper balance, and let them be a catalyst for loving you and those around me.

Join the Conversation

Average User Rating:

Displaying 1–4 of 4 comments

Curt Schleicher

May 28, 2014  8:57am

Emotions are from God; everything from God is good; emotions must be a part of the goodness of God. i read these lines and truly believe them in my heart.

Report Abuse

Grayson Schwarz

May 28, 2014  7:34am

Too bad the guy didn't recognize the problem as being too much time between such weekends: i.e, no time reserved just for each other=no time for honest communication. If he had, he wouldn't have placed such unrealistic expectations on one weekend and seen the conflicts as a beginning instead of an ending. His (their) problem is too long without "us" time. Been there, done that. Without reserved blocks of time just for one another, issues go unaddressed and emotions build.

Report Abuse

ANTHONY Swaggerty

May 28, 2014  6:04am

Thanks for sharing this passage M.O.I. I really enjoy the tangible ways you show how we as men attempt to cope and deal with things, when staring us in the eye is the one way we should turn to. Being open to learning a new way of hearing your partner is very important and life building. Thank you Joseph, for your last comment, I have been on the fence to starting a Men's group to do these studies myself. Thanks for you words today, and congrats on your marriage. Anthony

Report Abuse


May 28, 2014  5:52am

My wife and I have been only married 15 years, we have a check question we use on each other to open the door to express any kind of emotions especially when one of us gets a hint we might of hurt the other unintentionally. "Are You Ok" is our door opener. Works great. This week's reading brings to mind how I use to bury myself for what I thought was peace, only to have those emotions trickle out slowly in snarky remarks. Dealing with emotions doesn't feel manly, but that it self is an emotion and God doesn't want us living by them but dealing with them as peacemakers! Thanks MOI FYI Paineville Baptist Church men do the Saturday Bible studies together every week. Great sharpening times. Small church only 200 members but we had as many as 19 men and as few as 2. Thanks for providing

Report Abuse

Use your Men of Integrity login to easily comment on this article.

Bookmark this pageBookmark this page
RSS FeedsRSS Feeds
Back to top � Back to top


Facebook  Twitter  Google +  

Featured Items