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Hey Dad,

How are things going, Dad? We have a dilemma at our house: what to name our expected baby. Call me compulsive, but I've always believed that it's important to name your children.

That aside, as I promised last week, I need to ask you a few questions. Rest assured that your wife didn't put me up to this; nor did your mother, or pastor.

I need to ask these questions because the stakes are high. What we do as fathers and husbands affects so many people. It affects not only our children but also their children and their children after them. If we blow it by forgetting our priorities for a couple of decades, we can make a real mess of things.

Old guys know what I'm talking about. They remind me from time to time. Complete strangers walk up to me in McDonalds as I'm herding my children and say things like, "Enjoy them while their young … they grow up so fast."

What they're really saying is, "Hey, dummy, don't get so caught up in work and your stuff that you forget about what's really important … because one day they're going to be gone and you won't get a second chance."

They speak from experience. Some have spent too much time on the road or in the office and warn guys like us, who if we aren't careful, will do the very same thing.

So let me ask you—

1. Are you spending too much time at work?
2. Do you travel more than you should?
3. Do your hobbies take you away from your family?

Don't be too quick to answer. Mull them over in your mind. How would your wife answer the questions for you? What about your kids? They know the truth even if you won't admit it.

A wife once defended her husband who traveled a lot by saying, "I've got big shoulders, Todd. I can take it."

Well, the truth is that she might have been able to "take it," but their kids couldn't, and I did her husband a disservice by not getting in his face.

So, if you're spending too much time away from your family, let me get in your face and say, "Stop it … there's nothing you'll regret more."

Be brave, Dad. If you need to make changes … do it. Your family will love you for it. Guaranteed!

You 'da dad!

©Copyright Todd Wilson, 2003. Used by permission.

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