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Hey Dad,

I used to be under the impression that my children are brilliant … loaded to the brim with brainpower. Now I'm starting to wonder if they have enough power in the tank to get out of the driveway.

Lately I've caught myself saying things that a father just shouldn't have to say. These are actual statements that have come out of my mouth in the past 3 weeks:

"Why did you cut slits in the screen door with your pocket knife?"

"Abe, don't rinse out your toothbrush in the toilet!"

"Don't shoot holes in the siding of the house with your BB gun!!"

"Who drilled holes in the wagon??"

"Ike, don't lick the bricks!!"

To add insult to injury, when I question the perpetrator, they look at me with that "what?" look. Take the BB gun incident for example …

"Did you shoot these holes in the house siding?" I asked.

"Yeeesssss," he answered softly.

"Did you KNOW you were putting HOLES in the siding of OUR HOUSE?"

He looked at me like I was the one who was having trouble comprehending all this, "Yeeessss."

I searched my brain trying to come up with some kind of "Mr. Brady" explanation of why people shouldn't shoot holes into houses. My brilliant response? "Well, don't do it again!"

I walked away mumbling to myself, "What is he, dumb or something?"

I know he won't shoot any more holes into the siding … he'll think of something else instead … like shooting holes in the side of the van, pounding nails into the kitchen counter, or scratching his name into the wood of his bunk bed. Oh yeah, he already did that one.

Then I discovered something this weekend as I was talking with my brother–in –law. His kids do the same things. In fact, he said that one of his kids recently drilled a bunch of holes into his dry–walled garage.

Then it dawned on me: my kids aren't stupid … they're just normal, red–blooded, curious, adventure–seeking, information–gathering kids.

And so are yours. They WILL break things, drill holes, dent cars, burn stuff, and lick bricks, and then they'll look at you like … "What?"

I don't know if this will help, but remember: they're not dumb, they're just normal. So Dad, keep training, keep encouraging, keep hugging, and keep laughing.

You 'da dad! [Todd]

©Copyright Todd Wilson, 2004. Used by permission.

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