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Hey Dad,

I just don't get it! Sometimes I think I do. I'm just about to grab the brass ring of understanding my wife when BAM, it vanishes, and I blow it big time.

You'd think after years of being married to the same woman that I'd have it down by now, but I don't. Take the other night. My wife was feeling overwhelmed by the future and the upcoming school year. She was uptight and irritable.

Trying to be the husband that I tell others to be, I asked her to spill her guts and told her I'd listen to her.

"You can't handle what I'm feeling," she said. "You'll just want to give solution and won't try to understand what I'm feeling."

"That's not true," I answered. "I'll let you talk." In my head I saw her talking, crying, and resting her head on my big, strong shoulder. After all, I'm her man!

The look in my eye was convincing, and she began to talk.

You guessed it. Before she had finished her third sentence, I interrupted. "That's not true … see, if you would only do this …"

She stared at me, and I knew I had blown it again. I was close, but I just couldn't keep my mouth shut! Yes, there are times when she needs and wants my input, but then there are times when she just needs my understanding.

I've begun to notice a pattern. She shares, I get defensive, talk too much, and then next thing I know, I'm sitting alone wondering where I got the "jerk" part of my DNA. Maybe I could blame it on Adam … but that doesn't make me feel any better.

The only solution is for me to suck it up, apologize to my wife, and try again. I know she'll be a little gun shy next time, but that's what being a husband is all about. It's proving to your wife and children that you're in it for the long haul.

It's failing, trying, failing some more, and trying some more.

Is it worth all the effort?

You bet.

Is it the same for you and your marriage?

Yep.

You 'da dad!

©© Copyright 2004 Todd Wilson. Used by permission.

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