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Hey Dad,

The Familyman-mobile is on the launch pad and preparing for lift off. For those of you who are new to this whole Familyman thing, every year for about 3 months, my entire family crams into a 30-foot RV to travel and speak across the country encouraging dads and moms.

There's a lot to get ready. Getting the RV road worthy is an undertaking in itself, but there is also a ton of other details to take care of before leaving. All that to say … we are in super-busy mode around here. My wife and I are running from one task to another as the clock ticks for departure 13 days from now.

One of the dangers of being busy is a natural dad phenomenon known as Fathering Vertigo. Vertigo is the sensation of being unable to distinguish which way is up. Pilots sometimes experience it when surrounded by clouds. Somehow their brain gets disoriented, and they think they're upside down. If they rely on their senses and not their instrument panel, it can cause them to nose-dive right into the earth.

Fathering Vertigo occurs most often in busy conditions. The busy dad loses all sense of what's important and what isn't. And, here's the danger; he might inadvertently pile drive his family right into the ground.

I've got a case of it now. In my mad dash to get ready, I've lost sight of what's really important … especially with my children. I noticed it recently with my son Ben (13). He has the propensity to get extremely focused on whatever it is he's interested in at the time, whether it's details about the Civil War, building something in the garage, or designing a computer game.

The thing is, in all my running, fixing, and gathering, I don't have time to hear yet another lengthy description of … whatever. Usually, he starts talking and I half-heartedly listen until he gets the idea that I don't care and walks away.

Yesterday, he was rattling off a dozen details all at once, and I answered dumbly, "I agree." He laughed knowing that I hadn't listened at all … but I didn't laugh. Later, I rehearsed in my mind how many times I've blown him off lately. I've shown him not that I don't care about "whatever" but that I don't care about him. If I'm not careful, I might crash our relationship.

But that's why we dads have each other. We can help each other know which way … is up. I know what I need to do. I need to listen to my son, even in my busyness today.

How about you, Dad? I know you're busy (we all are). Have you been suffering from a touch of Fathering Vertigo? Don't rely on your feelings. Do what you KNOW to be right!

You 'da Dad,

© 2003 Todd Wilson. Used by permission

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