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Hey Dad,

Well, in spite of the worst spring weather imaginable, we're just about ready to hit the road. My wife is out in the "beast" (RV) right now, putting away clothes, food, and a hundred other odds and ends.

All the lists are checked off, except one biggy that looms over my head.

It all started about a week and a half ago when my wife heard some "not normal" scratching, squeaky sounds coming from just above our couch. She called me in as the wildlife expert, and after a few seconds I said, "Sounds like baby raccoons to me."

After a quick sound check on the internet, my hunches were confirmed.

Since then, I've been contemplating my options. 1) Do nothing and let the raccoons destroy my house. 2) Hire a pest expert and get rid of the vermin as well as a wad of cash. 3) Get rid of them myself and spend the money I saved on gas for my RV.

It was clear to me. This was about more than saving money … it was a test of my manhood. The plan: get a live trap, catch mama, then cut a hole in the ceiling of my family room and fetch out the babies. Couldn't be easier.

First night. Set trap … nothing.

Second night. Set trap. An hour later, mama left through the opening under the eaves and I rushed out and sealed off the entrance with a board and chicken wire (as my sons watched mama to make sure she didn't attack me).

Next, I sawed a hole in the ceiling, got some protective gear and a headlamp, located the five baby raccoons, and plopped them in a container to be reunited with their mama the next morning.

But the next morning, the trap was empty and the kids reported hearing some faint scratching sounds in her usual spot. I checked the boarded-up opening to find the chicken wire pulled off and the board pulled out … nails and all. Yow!!

So, now I have the babies who won't last long, a mongo-strong raccoon above my family room (again), and three emotional, GreenPeace-save-the-raccoons kind of women in my house who look at me like I'm some kind of raccoon-killing murderer.

All that to say … it's not easy being a dad. And just when you're ready to coast and enjoy the good life, a family of critters takes over your house.

So, Dad, if things are going good … enjoy it while it lasts. If not … it doesn't really matter, because rain or shine, pestilent-free times or raccoon infestations … YOU 'DA DAD!

I'll get her tonight … hopefully,

© 2007 Todd Wilson. Used by permission.

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