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Hey Dad,

I have a confession to make—I'm having trouble liking my daughter. Don't get me wrong. I love her more than anything—I'm just having trouble liking her right now, and I'm feeling pretty bad about that.

Oh, I want to like her all right. It used to be so easy. I'd walk down to the family room in the morning and sit down beside her and say, "Morning, Sunshine. How'd you sleep last night?"

Even if she didn't answer, she would snuggle up in my arms and hug me tight. Now I come down in the morning, sit beside her and say in the same gentle voice, "Morning, Sunshine. How'd you sleep last night?"

Instead of snuggling, she looks like she might cry and blurts out, "Why are you always teasing me? Can't you just stop!?!"

To be honest, I'm not one of the easily hurt dads who say, "Fine—see if I'm ever nice to you again!" I keep trying. I use my most gentle voice, try to understand, hold her in my arms, and hug her firmly. And she responds. She tells me she loves me, apologizes for the way she's acted, and then—accuses me of making her do everything!!

I know it's a hormonal woman thing and that she is overwhelmed with the changes of life—but she is getting a little hard to like right now. But I know she wants me to hang in there and not give up on her. She wants me to love her, even when she's hard to like. She wants me to keep hugging, even though she pulls away. She wants me to keep saying, "I love you," even when she isn't very loveable. She wants me to hold her hand as we walk to the mailbox, put my arm around her when we stand in the yard, or hold her on my lap when we talk about the day.

I guess that's what dads do. We love our children (or wife) even when … we don't like them very much. We don't just say we love them—we prove it by our actions. Now I know, Dad, that you may have a really hard-to-like child. Maybe he/she has made some poor choices, told you to bug off, thumbed her nose in your face, or told you that she hates you.

It may be tempting to say, "Fine. I quit." But let me encourage you to … keep loving.

I know it's not easy—but being a dad never is.

You 'da dad!

© 2008 Todd Wilson. Used by permission

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