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Hey Dad,

I was going to share something brilliant with you this week, but that has just changed in the last three seconds. That's because I just had to discipline my son Cal (3) for something he said to his sister Maggie (5).

Actually, I seem to be doing a lot of discipline this week. This time it started with his sister saying in a rather whiny voice, "Dad, Cal said, 'Dumb Maggie.'" The tone in her voice made it "clear" that she was totally innocent.

"Tell Cal to come here," I said wishing to not be needed by any of my children for just thirty minutes. I could hear her smile as she went to go get the 'victim.'

A minute later, Cal still dressed in his pjs walked up to me with doom on his face.

I turned to him, administered the appropriate discipline, and then waded into my fatherly instructions.

"Cal, you don't ever talk like that," I said holding his chin to help focus his eyes on mine. "We NEVER talk that way in our family."

As the words left my mouth, in my mind I heard the words, "Roll the tape!"

In a flash, God replayed the tape from yesterday, and I heard the words spew forth form MY mouth, "What are you, a dummy?!"

Oh no, we NEVER talk that way in our family. Who am I kidding? Cal learned to say "dumb" from me. We may NEVER talk that way … but I talk that way. In fact, it seems unfair and cruel to discipline my children for stuff that I taught them.

As the old saying goes, more is caught than taught. I can "say" all I want, but the truth is my children will follow my example.

So, I still need to discipline them for wrong behavior, but I first need to work on me. I need to watch what comes out of my mouth, how I drive, how I interact with family members and others, and where I put my trust.

And I hate to bring this up, Dad, but you might need to take a good long look at your children's bad behavior and see if they learned any of it from you. You still need to discipline them for their wrong behavior, but first you need to work on you.

Roll the tape!

© 2009 Todd Wilson. Used by permission

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