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Hey Dad,

I've been fine-tuning things for a couple's retreat that I'll be speaking at this weekend. Actually, I'm a little nervous because my wife is going to be there, and she'll hear everything I teach … about being a good husband.

I've always thought of myself as being the same guy upfront as I am at home, but still, I sometimes wonder if my wife thinks, Yeah, you say all that nice stuff about loving and leading … but you don't really do it. The truth is, it is easier to say than to do, but I want to be a "doer" more than a "sayer."

That said, my wife's upset with me right now. Things have been going so well, too—lots of smiles and closeness—but all that changed in a moment of dumbness and defensiveness. Not one to give up easily, I took her upstairs to our bedroom, closed the door, apologized, listened, and tried to see her viewpoint.

She said she forgave me but can't bounce back instantly. I know that. Man, do I know that. But I also know that because I dealt with it right away, the poison won't linger and grow. My attitude and persistence is the "serum" that prevents it from spreading. If I take my lumps, humble myself, and woo her patiently, we both win.

But if I dig in my heels and think, I didn't do anything, we both lose.

I don't know how things are going in the marriage department right now for you, Dad, but if you've noticed the poison, stop hoping it will go away, take your wife somewhere, close the door, listen, and apologize.

You 'da serum,

© 2013 Todd Wilson. Used by permission

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