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Think about this: You're checking your family e-mail, and you notice one intended for your 13-year-old son. It's from someone you've never heard of, so you open it. It says, "Hey, Alan, you're not gonna wimp out on Friday, are you? We're all still planning to skip school and go skateboarding. We did it a few weeks ago, and nobody got caught!"

Or this: You're putting freshly folded clothes away in your 15-year-old daughter's dresser when you notice her journal by her bedside. Curious, you take a look at the most recent entry. You read, "I can't believe they're treating me this way. Sometimes they just make me feel like a nobody. Sometimes I get angry, but usually I just cry. Life is so hard, sometimes I wonder if it's all really worth it …"

Both scenarios raise a number of questions, starting with these two: Did I just invade my child's privacy? What am I supposed to do with this information?

The message from secular society seems to be that parents need to lighten up and give teenagers more freedom and fewer constraints. Case in point: Did you know that many U.S. states have enacted Minor Consent Laws which allow under-aged citizens (a.k.a. children) to obtain medical and mental health services without their parents' knowledge?

In some states, minors may receive pregnancy testing, prenatal care, labor and delivery services, abortion counseling, contraceptive devices, alcohol and drug abuse counseling, treatment and detox—all without their parents being notified. In some cases, children may also even get an abortion without a parent's permission if they obtain a court order.

For some parents, these situations are no big deal. According to a Harris Interactive survey, many parents buy into this what-we-don't-know-won't-hurt-us philosophy. The survey found that of children who go online at home, over 50 percent are not supervised by an adult and only 29 percent of parents use filtering software to limit or restrict their children's access to certain content.

I don't believe these are parents who simply don't care about their children, but rather that they have bought into the cultural message that if they are too nosy or hover too much, they will alienate their children. So the question becomes not whether parents should be involved in their teenagers' business, but to what extent.

"Jesus told his disciples to be 'as wise as serpents and gentle as doves.' That's good advice for parents too," says Melissa Trevathan, founder and Executive Director of Daystar Ministries in Nashville. Trevathan works with adolescents and their parents, and is the author of The Back Door to Your Teen's Heart (Harvest House). She says, "I've had kids in counseling sessions tell me, 'My parents don't have a clue what I'm into or who I hang around.' And others say, 'The only reason I don't drink (do drugs, have sex) is that I know my mom would find out.'

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