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My Thanksgiving centerpiece creation is pretty much limited to stalks of Indian corn and gourds arranged on a gold tablecloth. Pretty. Serviceable. Memorable? Maybe.

One year, I had an inspiration. I placed brightly colored construction paper, crayons, glue, feathers and scissors on my kitchen table and gathered whatever kids we had around that year. We made hand turkeys. You know, the ones where you trace around your hand, cut out the outline, add a gobble (what do you call those red wobbly things on a turkey's throat?), add a few feathers for flourish and voilà!—a personal decoration/placecard for the table. Festive!

Later at the dinner table, the turkeys, curling at the edges as gravy spots and Jell-O landed nearby, caught my eye. I asked, "What are you thankful for this year?" All eyes turned. Boring, blasé question, Mom. "No really, there are five fingers on each turkey, let's see if we can name five things we're thankful for—each one of us."

Mumbles from the older kids. Wiggles from the younger ones whose fingers were busy donning olive caps. My husband looked at me, trying not to roll his eyes, and then with effort chimed in with his five thankful things. At last we rounded the table back to me and I completed the assignment. Whew. Done with that, or so I thought.

But as I cleared the table after dinner, the turkeys with their happy praises caught my attention again. I picked one up, turned it over, looked at its blank back and wondered if I could name five things I wasn't thankful for this year.

Easy. My daughter's absence from our Thanksgiving table for the first time ever. My son's adolescent struggles. The move of a dear friend far, far away. A heavy writing deadline looming between Thanksgiving and Christmas. And my inability to conquer a gripey attitude about "having to do it all" when it came to the holidays. I truly wasn't thankful for these things.

I hadn't thought of this second, inverted Thanksgiving question all on my own. A coworker had actually posed it to me just a few days before when, in a tough moment, I admitted how anxious I was about the holidays and the hollow holes in my heart. Compassionate yet confrontive, he pointed me to a passage in the Bible that haunts me still. The apostle Paul, who suffered through both indignity and injustice for Jesus, challenges his readers to "… give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I Thessalonians 5:18

In all circumstances. When your table is full at Thanksgiving, and when there's a hole. When your kids smoothly navigate through life's developmental challenges, and when they bump into stuff, including you and your values and your desires and hopes and dreams. When your best friend and her family join you to celebrate, enlarging your "family." And when there's only an early morning phone chat to take the place of the revelry of the prior year.

In all circumstances. Something about this concept softened the edges of my heart's pain that year. Warmed me up. Allowed me to experience the joy before me rather than the happiness I missed.

I've got a new stack of construction paper and some killer feathers just waiting to be formed. Want to make a thankful turkey?

Elisa Morgan, President and CEO, MOPS International

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