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It Won't Happen in My Home
And Other Myths About Internet Pornography
By Carla Foote
 1 of 4
It happened in our home
Jane and Laura are both married, strongly committed to their children and families and involved in Christian ministry. Both women agreed to share the pain of their husband's addiction to Internet pornography in the hopes that other women would be able to recognize and name the addiction and seek help.
Jane's Story
I was young, innocent and naïve. I had some suspicions about my husband's behavior. He wasn't coming to bed at night. It would be 2 a.m., and I would find him on the computer. When I walked in, he'd click it off.
Eventually I found evidence that he was downloading pictures. When I confronted him, he could turn it around and make me feel like it was my fault, my unwillingness to perform as often as I should. His addiction escalated until the Internet wasn't enough, and he took a trip to meet someone else.
We went through three years of me finding things, me confronting him, and him becoming even better at hiding. His lies escalated over time. Our marriage became emotionally and sexually abusive. What he saw in the pictures, he thought that we could mimic when we were together.
After my daughter was born, I knew that I had to protect her. The escalation of my husband's addiction and his unwillingness to change led our marriage to dissolve.
Eventually I remarried. My second husband is a godly man, so when I discovered that he too struggled with Internet pornography, I was devastated. I was flooded with emotions—anger, hurt, inadequacy, numbness, betrayal of trust. I couldn't believe that this was happening to me again!
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