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Home > Momsense > Issues & Culture > Growth Journey

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It Won't Happen in My Home
And Other Myths About Internet Pornography
By Carla Foote

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What myths do you believe about Internet pornography?

"I'm sure that my husband would never access Internet pornography; he is a strong Christian man."

"If I were more sexually available to my husband, he would not indulge in Internet pornography."

"If we get rid of the computer in our home, my husband will stop accessing Internet pornography."

"Internet pornography isn't that bad. Men have used magazines such as Playboy for entertainment for years; Internet pornography is just the modern version of the magazine."

It happened in our home

Jane and Laura are both married, strongly committed to their children and families and involved in Christian ministry. Both women agreed to share the pain of their husband's addiction to Internet pornography in the hopes that other women would be able to recognize and name the addiction and seek help.

What you need to know

Pornography is graphic communication intended to produce sexual feelings.

Pornography on the Internet has escalated the availability of such graphic communication and intensified the deviant nature of the images.

Every day almost 40 million people visit one or more of the 4.2 million porn sites on the Internet.

Nearly 50 percent of Christians say that pornography is a major problem in the home.

God created us as sexual beings and sexuality in marriage is a beautiful creation; however, intimacy is thwarted by seeking sexual fulfillment in other ways.

Jane's Story

I was young, innocent and naïve. I had some suspicions about my husband's behavior. He wasn't coming to bed at night. It would be 2 a.m., and I would find him on the computer. When I walked in, he'd click it off.

Eventually I found evidence that he was downloading pictures. When I confronted him, he could turn it around and make me feel like it was my fault, my unwillingness to perform as often as I should. His addiction escalated until the Internet wasn't enough, and he took a trip to meet someone else.

We went through three years of me finding things, me confronting him, and him becoming even better at hiding. His lies escalated over time. Our marriage became emotionally and sexually abusive. What he saw in the pictures, he thought that we could mimic when we were together.

After my daughter was born, I knew that I had to protect her. The escalation of my husband's addiction and his unwillingness to change led our marriage to dissolve.

Eventually I remarried. My second husband is a godly man, so when I discovered that he too struggled with Internet pornography, I was devastated. I was flooded with emotions—anger, hurt, inadequacy, numbness, betrayal of trust. I couldn't believe that this was happening to me again!

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