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Imagine you're on a ski trip with your family. For months you've dreamed of swishing down the slopes together, enjoying winter's beauty and a time of family bonding and closeness. Now imagine waking up from your dream and finding yourself actually at the ski slope, where your 8-year-old son has "accidentally" taken a ski lift that transported him to a different mountain; your kindergartner is somewhere in ski school; your husband has given up looking for you after the two of you got separated (and is now at the lodge drinking hot chocolate); and you're a beginning skier on a Black Diamond expert slope struggling to your feet after your 20th terrifying fall.

During times like these, two things would be tremendously helpful. First, you'd give anything for some kind of global positioning device that could help "track" your kids and spouse so you could get back together (particularly to find your son who is now literally miles away). The other is having a pair of ski instructors suddenly show up and place their skis alongside yours, helping you safely down the mountain.

Even if you've never been skiing, we bet you can relate to the frustration this woman felt when her family was scattered all over the mountain, and the relief she felt when someone showed up to help her down a steep slope. Actually, these are the same goals we have for you as you read this article.

First, we want to help you during one of the most challenging times in a mom's life—raising preschoolers. And second, getting on the "same page" with your kids and spouse when it comes to closeness and connection is a good goal. However, with hectic lives and with "differences" often pushing us apart, it's easy to wake up one day and feel like our family is spread all over the map.

In our book, Parenting from Your Strengths, we talk about the importance of having a "Global Parenting System." A system to move your family towards increased closeness and caring as you understand your own unique God-given strengths and recognize those of your family.

How can you understand your God-given strengths as a parent? One fun way to do just that is to take a moment to go through the following lists:

Parenting from Your Strengths Checklist
Are you a lion, otter, retriever or beaver? Mark the box next to the list that best describes you.

You know you're a Lion Parent if …
1. You're a strong, assertive, take- charge person and parent. Whether at home or at work, you're the boss—or at least you think you are.
2. You are impatient with any obstacles that come in your way.
3. You don't have to be motivated—just pointed.
4. You enjoy challenges and have even been known to break something so you can fix it.
5. When your parents talked about you as a child, they say, "She let us live at home!"

You know you're an Otter Parent if …
1. Your favorite thing to do is yak, yak, yak.
2. You're fast-paced and spontaneous.
3. You don't balance the checkbook to the penny …. you just switch banks!
4. You love starting projects with your kids …. but rarely finish them before starting something else.
5. You know everyone in your MOPS group—you just don't know anybody's name.

You know you're a Retriever Parent if …
1. You've been told time and again you're a good team player—even if you never played sports.
2. You make sure that everyone has something to eat and drink before you start eating yourself.
3. You call to check on the kids (your spouse, the dog) more than once a night when you're out, just to make sure that everyone's "fine."
4. At home, at work or with friends, you want everyone to "just get along."
5. When you were young, you actually sent yourself to timeout at least once.

You know you're a Beaver Parent if …
1. You get nervous if there's no rule book or instructions to follow.
2. You like to finish one project and then start another.
3. You actually fold your dirty clothes before putting them in the hamper.
4. You love lists, and lists and lists.
5. You want the kids to have a "sock drawer" as you do, instead of a sock room.

Now go back through the above list a second time and ask yourself, Which one of those descriptions sounds like my spouse? and then, Which one sounds like my child(ren)? Even at their young age, we can begin to recognize the strengths God has "placed" inside our children, and in realizing those strengths, learn to bless and encourage them.

Family life doesn't have to be a zoo, and we don't have to end up all over the map. By taking time to discover our strengths and to learn more about the strengths of each family member, we can stay on course towards closeness and caring—as we parent from our strengths. M

Adapted from the book, Parenting from Your Strengths, John Trent, Rodney Cox and Eric Tooker, Broadman and Holman Publishers 2006. Used with permission.

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