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The first few years of life are a time of rapid growth for children. Sometimes, however, babies and children don't meet expected standards of growth. This lack of growth is called "failure to thrive" and results from a wide variety of underlying causes. Children who fail to thrive are unable to take in, retain or utilize the calories needed to gain weight and grow as expected. Without diagnosis and intervention, failure to thrive in a child is a dangerous situation.

What does failure to thrive look like in a mom? What is the mom-equivalent of this clinical diagnosis in children? What if a mom doesn't grow as a woman and pursue her interests for a year, two years or 10 years? Often the diagnosis of failure to thrive in a mom is delayed until her children have left home. She may be left wondering who she is and what she should do now that there's no one in the home to mother. If a mom's life is solely focused on the growth and well-being of her children, she experiences a tremendous gap in her opportunity to grow as a woman.

Moms with young children have many, many opportunities for learning every day. You're learning about sleep patterns and about what to feed your baby or toddler. You learn about developmental milestones in your children. You learn what will calm and excite each child. You learn about your city and the children's activities available. You learn about preschools and special activity classes.

But there's a difference between learning and growth. Learning is gaining knowledge and growth is moving toward maturity.

When my first child was about 3 years old, all the moms in preschool were talking about various kindergarten options. Other than my own education, I had no experience in this arena. In my hometown, there were no educational choices. The Catholic kids went to Catholic school, and the rest of us went to public school. When I considered a school for my son, the choices in my city were overwhelming. There was Montessori, Waldorf, Core Knowledge, British Primary, Christian, public or more. I visited a private school that cost as much as a college. I learned about educational philosophies and considered what would be best for my son's personality, learning style and the values of our family. There was a lot to learn!

But for me, real growth occurred a few years later, when I stood in front of the local school board and gave my informed opinion about a particular decision that affected my son's school. My learning about the school system translated into growth as I stepped up to an active role in a new situation.

Learning is about gaining information and knowledge. Growth is maturing and developing who I am into who I can be. Standing in front of the school board was definitely a growth experience. And I've had more opportunities for growth related to the mom side of me by being an advocate and speaking out on educational issues.

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