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When a husband travels for his job, a wife takes her own trip—on a roller coaster of maternal strength and self-pity. In my head, I am woman, hear me roar! collides with Wait, don't leave me! right up to his departure.

No fun … or could it be?

What do your kids think of daddyless days? I want mine to miss their father. Indeed, our team is without its captain. I know I'm a fun mom, but sometimes I'm so busy dealing with life's details that fun gets the just-one-minute-honey treatment.

But I have a choice. I can either play poor-me—or simply play. I finally understand what it takes to emerge at the other end of my husband's travel feeling not just drained, but capable and whole. Here are some ideas:

• Take the offensive.
Your mindset and your calendar need a plan. Make a couple of play dates. Visit that museum you've been wanting to see. Have a sleepover in your room. Look at the time alone with your kids as opportunity, not oppression.

• Leave wiggle room. Don't plan every minute, because when the unexpected happens, you'll only have one set of hands. You'll need time to do nothing and rest up for the next day and stay healthy.

• Play. These are days to be lived, not just endured. Group your errands so you can then give fun your undivided attention. During my home-alone days, I took a chilly walk behind my scootering preschooler. We built a Lego fortress. And we played snow soccer.

• Practice long-distance love. It does take a little practice to feel empathy for your husband's struggles, i.e. delayed flights (time to read), a hotel bed (no one to wake you) or tough clients (at least he's getting paid). Your patience with and acceptance of his travel will overflow to your children—as will any resentment you harbor. My son's room is home to a giant map where he pushpins the locations of Daddy's trips. It's a visual reminder that he's not gone, just away. The two of them mark the spot together, and my husband never forgets to return with or send a postcard.

• Keep a place at the table. We keep a Daddy Box on the kitchen table, decorated by my kids, in which we put school papers, special rocks, homegrown art, mail, the Sports section from the big game—anything we would have trotted out for Dad at the end of a normal day. Sometimes I write down something poignant one of the kids said so I don't forget to share it. I love that ragged box and especially the ceremony of emptying it for his grateful eyes.

• Cling to tradition. A fast-food dinner is great for a treat, but hold fast to the standards that make your family unique—your nightly blessing, bathtime routine and even discipline. Kids feel comforted knowing what to expect.

• … And then break it sometimes. We once went out for ice cream—for dinner. I'll never forget the "you-are-either-crazy-or-the-best-mom-in-the-universe" look I got when I announced that plan. We made a memory, and ended the day on a sweet note in more ways than one. Plenty of dads work late, so invite another fatherless family over for pizza and get through that tough time of day together.

• Take time for you. Whether it's getting a sitter or planning a late-night date with a good movie in your room, treat yourself. Do what makes you feel good. Nothing is gained by keeping score of what you did and your husband didn't. But do reward yourself for getting through the day with laughter.

Susan Besze Wallace is married to a federal law enforcement agent who is adored by sons Zach, 5; Luke, 3; and A.J., 1. Part of her survival fun has included co-coordinating MOPS for Cherry Hills Community Church in Highlands Ranch, Colorado.

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