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If you're like me, you have at least one to–do list, if not several, around your house. Maybe one written back in January when you decided this was the year to simplify your life. Hmm, it's already the middle of summer …

In the preschool years, the mountain of laundry, overstuffed toy boxes, schedules to coordinate, e–mails to return and stacks of baby pictures to categorize overwhelms me. Why do I feel so far behind?

Life … and clutter. I think of clutter as anything that takes up space but doesn't add value or meaning to my life or to the lives of those I love. And I think of life, particularly the abundant kind, as anything that adds value or meaning to my life and to those I love. Jesus talked about having abundant life in John 10:10, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

The day I realized clutter kept me from an abundant life, I set out on a mission to declutter. I'm not just talking about my closet; I mean a full overhaul. It started with anything I could see 6 inches from my eyes. After decluttering my home from top to bottom, I collapsed and relished deep satisfaction over my well–organized home. But then I realized real clutter isn't only what I can see; it's also what I can't see. It's what's perpetuating my overloaded schedule, endless commitments and overwhelming fears.

A cluttered mind means I over think, over react, over analyze, over worry and over commit. How do I declutter my mind? I gave myself permission to let go and have the following "not–to–do" list:

• Not to feel guilty for saying "no" to something that's good, but not right, for me or my family.
• Not to fear about how well–adjusted my kids will be as adults.
• Not to hang something new in my closet without taking something out.
• Not to feel over–responsible for the well being of everyone else.
• Not to answer the phone after 7 p.m.
• Not to feel compelled to say "yes" just because I've been invited.
• Not to schedule busy activities on Sundays.
• Not to worry about what I missed at last week's play group with the girls.
• Not to buy something just because it's on sale.
• Not to think I can make a dinner that requires more than three ingredients, do the laundry, clean the house and spend quality time with my kids all in the same day.
• Not to ruminate over my mistakes or the mistakes of others.
• Not to compare myself with other moms.

The more we give ourselves permission "not to do," the more we'll free ourselves to live a more centered, abundant life. The next time you grab a piece of paper to make your to–do list, consider first what not to do!

Robyn Coffman is married with two children, ages 7 and 4. She previously attended MOPS in Prescott, Arizona. With a master's in Marriage and Family Therapy, she's a personal life coach who helps women declutter all areas of their life and live from their purpose (www.onceuponyourlife.com).

Copyright © 2008 by the author or Christianity Today International/MomSense magazine. Click here for reprint information on MomSense.

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