Sign up for our free newsletter:

 1 of 2

"I should be able to do it myself." There. I'd said it out loud—finally. Those few words tumbled out of my mouth, dripping with all the new mother guilt that had been swirling around inside of me for months. Of all things, I was a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) nurse. I took care of children with far greater needs. How could two little children under the age of two bring me to my knees? Besides, I'm their mother; I rationalized—I should be able to do it myself.

"What on earth makes you think that?" my mother snapped back before I could continue. "None of us are too good for help—none of us. Every now and then, we all need the support of our family and friends—and God. A long time ago, people raised entire generations together, as a village community. It was never solely an individual effort, but rather the efforts of countless families and generations working together."

As I allowed my mom's words to sink in, I knew what she said was true. Thousands of years ago, people were part of a tribe or village. These communities worked together seamlessly to ensure the survival of all its members.

The men hunted together, ducking and weaving through the forests in search of prey. The women raised the children and tended to the elders. Their entire survival depended on the ability to help and be helped by everyone in the community.

For centuries, life continued this way—multi-generational households using their gifts and talents to teach and nurture and help each other succeed. Yet, somehow, I still believed I was on my own—and that I was supposed to be on my own.

I'd been trying to do everything by myself since my son was born, stubbornly refusing to let anyone help me. Once my daughter was born 20 months later, my pride and stubbornness began to crumble, leaving me with feelings of guilt and shame. I simply couldn't be in two places at the same time. I felt like I needed to simply "grow" more arms in order to raise my children. But while listening to my mom that day, I realized God had already given me all the arms I needed in the form of my husband, mother and three sisters. Yet I had been denying his gift to me, arrogantly believing I could do it all by myself.

We all need help from time to time, whether it's physically, emotionally or spiritually. In times of spiritual crisis, God is always in our corner—loving us, teaching us and helping us. In times of physical or emotional crisis, he gives us extra support in the form of family and friends. What I realized that afternoon was simple. Asking for help didn't mean I was an incompetent mother—it simply meant I was a human one.

next page... |  1 of 2

share this page

	We'd really like to know what you think about this article!
	Is this the kind of article you'd like to see more of? Is there a topic you'd like us to cover? Please send your response to

				Try 3 Issues of Christianity Today Free! Name Street Address City/State/Zip E-mail Address Subscribe to Christianity Today and get 3 free trial issues. No credit card required. Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. Offer valid in U.S. only. If you decide you want to keep Christianity Today coming, honor your invoice for just $19.95 and receive nine more issues, a full year in all. If not, simply write "cancel" across the invoice and return it. The three trial issues are yours to keep, regardless.

FREE MomSense Newsletter Subscribe to the MomSense Newsletter    RSS Feed   RSS Help