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In my early mothering years, I heaped a lot of unrealistic expectations on Mother's Day.

It was one day a year when I anticipated some return on all my efforts as a mom. An elaborate card? Breakfast in bed? The perfect gift I'd hinted for?

Didn't I deserve something for all my labors of love throughout the year? I wanted Mother's Day to be all about me. Not a proud admission, but it's true.

If there's one thing I've learned as a mom, it's that life doesn't focus on me. Guess what? Mother's Day isn't all about me either. Through the years, I've shared other women's "wish come true" moments and their "where is God?" moments as they experience Mother's Day differently than I do.

Close friends, Lora Beth and Steve, had a teenage son and two preteens when they decided to adopt a little girl from China. My family waited and prayed with them as the one-year process stretched through not one, but two Mother's Days.

More than one close friend and one sister of mine struggled with the heartache of infertility. These women avoided church on Mother's Day—and one of them is a pastor's wife!

Another friend's sister had several abortions—and never had children. One Mother's Day, my friend sent her sister a card that read: Some day you will be reunited with your children. Right now, our dad is enjoying your children in heaven. That note was the only time her sister was acknowledged as a mom.

Looking back on the years spanning my first Mother's Day to now, my perspective has changed. I can't cram the significance of the last 25 years of motherhood into a single sentence. I also can't cram the significance of motherhood into one 24-hour period. If I hang all my hopes for affirmation on the second Sunday in May, I overlook the myriad of blessings hidden in the other 364 days of the year.

Every day is Mother's Day. My children's impromptu hugs and kisses on any given day are more precious than a prefabricated Hallmark card. Those moments are all the more meaningful because they're heartfelt, not mandated.

Along the way, I've also learned there are women who live mommy-lives completely different from mine. By looking beyond myself, I appreciate how much they deserve to be celebrated on Mother's Day, too. I honor other moms when I whisper words of comfort to a woman missing her mother or assure a mother of preschoolers she's doing a good job!

Beth K. Vogt wrote Baby Changes Everything: Embracing and Preparing for Motherhood after 35 (Revell, 2007). With children ages 25, 22, 20 and—surprise! 8 years old, she and her husband won't see an empty nest for quite a while.

Copyright © 2009 by the author or Christianity Today International/MomSense magazine. Click here for reprint information on MomSense.

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