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More than just about any other person in the universe, a MOPS mom needs to have some good and supportive relationships. Moms are the life-support system for their children, who have a lot of needs, a lot of energy and a lot of questions! And that requires significant amounts of help from the outside world, in order to keep up with all of the demands.

More than that, a MOPS mom is all about relationship. She relates to her children, her husband, her friends and her family. So it's important to know what good, healthy elements are needed in key relationships to help moms "relate" in the best ways possible. Following is a description of relationships that will help drive emotional healing and character growth:

People who influence you to be the person God intended you to be. You were designed to be a lot of things: a mom, a wife, someone with a job, a friend and other roles. Relationships are the fuel God uses to help you become the best person you can be. We're truly all the stewards of the grace of God for each other (I Peter 4:10). You need those friends who want to connect with you as you are today in all life's craziness, but at the same time, who also want to help you become the person you'll be tomorrow. Here's a tip: When you spend time with a person, ask yourself, Do I like who I am, when I am with her? Am I more open, more loving, more honest? Or instead, Do I not like what I see in myself? Go for the people who make a better you. Dr. Henry Cloud and I wrote a book called Safe People (Zondervan, 2008) that spells out in detail who the "good guys" are.

People who provide grace for the energy drains. MOPS moms experience so much drain on their time, attention and energy. You have to be "up for it" with your kids all the time (thank God for inventing naps). So you need to be replenished when you feel empty. This is much more than a physical issue. It's also spiritual and relational. While you do need to eat right, get your rest and work out, that's not enough. You need a few friends who will simply listen to you, encourage you and "be there" for you in grace. The fact that they're on your side is a real help with the drains.

People who let you be real. The best relationships are those in which you are both loved and given permission to be yourself, for good or for not-so-good. You may need to talk about your feelings that you aren't being the perfect mom or how scared you are of making mistakes. Or you may need to vent for a while and blow off some steam about the frustrations of motherhood and life in general. This is important because moms often feel tremendous pressure to be up and cheerful all the time. Your child may need a lot of cheer from you, as he depends on you to give him a world view that life is safe and good. But you need to take off the cheerleading uniform and just be real about the negative or difficult aspects of life. You'll find a great deal of relief, forgiveness and normalcy from friends who let you be authentic about your actual feelings about life.

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