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Dockers or Drawstring?
So who, ultimately, wears the pants? You both do. One of you gets the "Submit Leg #1" and the other gets the "Submit Leg #2." Your mutual submission reflects the character of your commitment to God. God knows you both have wills to contend with. Instead of going to extremes, hem in a lot of hassles by not pulling a power trip on your partner. Instead of dominating, serve your spouse in love. One size fits all when you're willing to be stretched.

Let It Snow, Let It Snow
A lot of people whine all winter long about being trapped in the not-so-great indoors. But staying in has its upside. Turns out

Oh, You Didn't Want Oven Mitts?
Here are a few creative gift tips from Men's Health magazine to help you win points with the one you love:

What's Worse than a Giraffe with a Sore Throat?
You with a sore throat. Here are the best cures for sore throats, according to Bottom Line Personal:

1. Steam. Remove a pot of boiling water from the stove and sit with your head over it, with a towel over your head. Inhale gently for ten minutes. Then put a humidifier in your bedroom.

2. Spritz a saline spray up your nose four to six times a day.

3. Sip warm liquids—but not milk or dairy products.

4. Suck cough drops or hard candy.

Now They're Talking
These singers knew they had more than music going for them when they married in 1997. Kevin Max, of DC Talk, and Alayna Bennett, of the twin-sister duo Audra and Alayna, knew they shared an interest in horseback riding, fashion and traveling, but they didn't know they had yet to share some of their best arguments … while riding in the car.

"When we were dating, Alayna's spirituality attracted me," Kevin says, "as well as the fact that she saw me for who I really was." Her discernment prevented Kevin from hiding his imperfect self behind his rock-star alter ego and led to arguments about his admitted selfishness.

Since then, Kevin has stumbled upon some good advice in C.S. Lewis's The Four Loves. "It's about loving someone," he says, "not just about marriage. You need to look ahead—consider the cost of your actions and decisions.

"And," he adds, "don't throw things."
Especially while driving.

Interviewed by Yolanda Soo Miller

Shine on Me
Got a bad case of those sunlight-deprivation winter blues? Medical researchers at Cornell University figured out that your brain's mental timekeeper can be manipulated by focusing a light on—get this—the back of your knees. Jet lag, insomnia and winter depression may eventually be treated with back-of- the-knee therapy.

between the covers Out of Bounds
We all go through times when we feel imposed on or taken advantage of. We might expect it at the office or in volunteer work, but what if it happens at home?

Counselor John Townsend, co-author with Henry Cloud of Boundaries in Marriage (Zondervan), says Christians, especially, have trouble setting appropriate boundaries.

"The big conflict of boundaries in marriage is that the Bible teaches that the two will become one," he says. "And at the same time, Jesus tells us that each person's got to carry his own load."

We asked Townsend to sort things out.

Please define boundaries in marriage.
Boundaries are your personal property line. A boundary defines what you are and are not responsible for. Boundaries give you freedom because you know at any time you can say "no" to your spouse. You can disagree. You can say "I'm not going to participate in this" or "I'm not going to put up with this." When you're free to say "no," you're also free to say a wholehearted "yes" when you agree.

What's the best way to start setting some boundaries?
The first thing is to realize that you may be doing something to make the problem worse. Perhaps a husband keeps quiet, trying to please his wife, and doesn't let her know when she's hurtful.

Second, make sure the boundaries you want to set are not about your own comfort but will actually contribute to the growth of your marriage.

Third, you need another couple—perhaps older than yourselves—to serve as a sounding board. If your relationship exists in a vacuum, you may be afraid to set boundaries because if your spouse reacts against you, you have nowhere to get the support you need.

What is the most common area where a better boundary is needed?
Many couples run into trouble when they don't make their values and preferences clear to their mates. They let their spouse tell them what to feel or they take responsibility for their spouse's feelings. That's where they need to set a boundary.

Cut Holiday Stress in Half
Literally. Elaine St. James, author of Simplify Your Christmas, recommends cutting back on "holiday madness" by prioritizing your list of a million things to do and then "cutting it in half."

"Halve everything," she says, "buy half the gifts, spend half the money, send half the cards." St. James discovered that the things left undone are rarely missed.

y o u s a i d i t ! "When you're sure of your strength, you can exhibit compassion, emotion, love, concern, equality and—even better than equality—the attitude of a servant."
Jimmy Carter

"Trust means you can open up to another person and not be hurt. In a good marriage, there's so much trust that each person can show his weakest side and know he'll still be loved."
Dianne Hales