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Marriage Partnership, Spring 2000
The Loves'
Story
Singing sensation CeCe Winans married Alvin Love when
she was only 18. How did she handle the dueling demands of marriage and
fame?
Annette LaPlaca
When
she was just seven years old,
CeCe
Winans heard the call of God. She stood in front of her church's
congregation to sing "Fill My Cup, Lord" and felt that God wanted her to
use her talent in his service. After winning eight Grammy Awards, she continues
to follow that divine directive today.
The singer has come a long way from her childhood in urban Detroit. She and
her husband, Alvin Love, live in a tall stone house in a gated community
near Nashville. In a large room containing floor-to-ceiling windows and their
grand piano, things feel a little empty—until the Loves walk in. Then things
come to life.
CeCe's often-photographed smile isn't just for publicity shots;
it's the real thing. The Loves laugh a lot. In fact, it's clear
that joy still marks CeCe's relationship with Alvin, just as it has
since she met him when she was still a teenager.
Music Everyone?
CeCe grew up harmonizing with her seven brothers and two sisters in the
now-famous Winans family. Her hardworking parents made sure each child understood
God's saving grace, which gave the siblings a compelling reason to sing
gospel music. CeCe's oldest four brothers became the award-winning group
The Winans. CeCe and her brother BeBe became a popular duo and, later, successful
solo artists. And her two younger sisters are recording as well.
By the age of 17, CeCe had graduated from high school and had enrolled in
beauty school. But recognizing her musical talent, Mom and Pop Winans allowed
her to move with BeBe to North Carolina so they could sing on the "PTL Show."
One weekend, when CeCe and BeBe were visiting in Detroit, the family went
bowling with a few friends, including a new acquaintance named Alvin Love.
Alvin explains: "Ronald, CeCe's second-oldest brother, had befriended
me at church because I was a baby in Christ. When you meet one of the Winanses,
eventually you meet the rest. That's what happened with CeCe."
"I met Alvin while bowling," she laughs, "but we didn't even talk that
night. He was cute, but my mind was on singing, not dating."
Even without talking, CeCe made a big impression on Alvin. "The next morning
at church," he recalls, "CeCe walked toward me with that smile and I thought,
'She's really pretty.' A few months later her brothers coaxed
me to go down to Charlotte with them to see 'PTL'."
When Alvin traveled to North Carolina, he fell like a ton of bricks.
"That weekend we all did things together," explains CeCe. "Alvin joked around
like he was one of my brothers, not like someone I didn't know from
Adam. For instance, we all split up to get ready for the evening. Then, when
we met up, Alvin said, 'I thought you were going to get dressed up.
If I knew you were going to wear that, I wouldn't have bothered to put
this on.' He cracked me up. He was just himself—and I could be myself."
The night before he had to return to Detroit, Alvin phoned. "I've got
to talk to you be fore I leave town," he told her.
"I played it cool on the telephone," says CeCe, "but inside I was jumping
up and down."
Alvin and Ronald came to her apartment. Ronald fell asleep on the couch,
but Alvin and CeCe talked all night. They shocked each other when they revealed
their ages. Alvin looked young for his 33 years, and CeCe's high-profile
career and independent lifestyle belied her young age of 17.
"That tripped me out a little," admits CeCe.
"Me too," says Alvin, "but it was too late. By then I felt so strongly that
she'd be my wife. I even told her, 'We're going to get married
next year.'"
"I told him I just wanted the Lord's will for my life," says CeCe. "He
phoned as soon as he got back home and said, 'I called you before I
called my mother.' That tickled me. He was so corny."
They wrote letters and talked frequently on the phone, and CeCe came home
to Detroit regularly. She prayed like mad about the relationship and sought
advice from her parents and her pastor, a strict man who said he'd pray
about it. He later told her: "Brother Love's a good man."
Plus, Alvin's mom loved CeCe. "And she usually didn't like anybody
I brought home," he recalls.
"Alvin was her pet," teases CeCe.
It meant a lot to Alvin that the Winans family accepted him so readily. "I
asked both her parents, 'Do you have any objection to me dating CeCe?'
They said 'Do you love Jesus?' That was their only requirement.
They knew that if I loved the Lord I would love CeCe. Nobody in her family
ever questioned me about my life before I became a Christian."
Only BeBe, CeCe's singing partner, was nervous, wondering how CeCe's
marriage might affect her music ministry. A few months before the wedding,
CeCe left "PTL," while BeBe stayed on. They kept singing together, meeting
up for engagements. Eventually BeBe left "PTL" as well. CeCe feels that God
protected them by removing them from "PTL" before the public downfall of
that ministry.
Setting Up Shop
On June 23, 1984, less than a year after Alvin's weekend visit to North
Carolina, he and CeCe got married. "My brothers sang a song BeBe wrote for
me, 'We're Going to Miss You,'" says CeCe. "It had everybody
crying."
Alvin was working for Xerox, where he had moved into sales. CeCe kept singing
with BeBe but also finished beauty school. By the time she was 19, she and
Alvin had opened a beauty salon. Alvin ran the business while holding down
his regular job. CeCe's dad, who was a barber, worked there and looked
after things when she was traveling.
After 15 years of marriage, the things that
brought Alvin and CeCe together are still
the things they love most about each other.
"It was a God-fearing shop," laughs CeCe. "With the Christian music and great
atmosphere, people liked to come there."
In October, CeCe came down with what she thought was the flu. "The nine-month
flu," her grandmother told her.
Alvin Love III arrived almost a year to the day after CeCe and Alvin had
married. Ashley Rose followed two years later.
CeCe traveled with baby Alvin, but once Ashley came along, traveling with
two babies became too much. "There were times when I thought, 'I'm
quitting! This is too hard.' But the Lord reminded me of my calling,
and he took care of my kids. Alvin was supportive, and my mom and my
mother-in-law were nearby to help."
Eventually Xerox transferred Alvin so the Loves could move to Nashville,
where BeBe was living.
"Those newlywed days were busy—especially with having babies so quickly,"
says Alvin, "but CeCe and I were good friends. The friendship made our marriage
easier."
A solid friendship helped, as did their ability to laugh at themselves. With
Alvin and CeCe, even a big argument can produce some laughs.
"Once when I was pregnant, we were at a wedding reception and Al vin was
off talking to people instead of sitting with me," CeCe says. "I thought,
'He doesn't want to sit with me.' So I went out to the car
and sat a long time, getting more and more up set. Finally Alvin came out
and said, 'What's wrong?' I told him I wanted to go home.
He apologized for hurt ing my feelings, and I cried and cried.
"But no sooner do we get home than I realize I'm really hungry—and
I start thinking about all that food back at the reception! Alvin said,
'See, that was stupid, wasn't it?'
"It happens a lot," she continues. "By the time we've cooled off,
we're both thinking, 'That argument was kind of dumb.'"
A Valentine Surprise
When CeCe and Alvin had been married ten years, their pastor encouraged them
to attend a Valentine's Day marriage conference, followed by a dinner
and dance.
"We didn't think we needed to go," says CeCe, "but it was life-changing.
I found I didn't understand what marriage really was. The pastor talked
about how Hosea loved his wife so unconditionally he'd go out of his
way to buy her back even when she was out walking the streets. I realized
I liked my marriage as long as Alvin was nice to me. It was a bargain—he
was good to me, so I was good to him. That's not what marriage is about
at all."
After Alvin started traveling with CeCe, he couldn't
believe he ever let her get on a plane without him.
"I learned what it meant to love CeCe the way Christ loved the church," says
Alvin. "Jesus stands by us no matter how stubborn or disobedient we've
been. We try to go back to that conference every year now. The second time
they asked us to share about our marriage, and I cried. I looked back and
realized God's grace in my life—where I've come from and what
he's blessed me with in CeCe."
"Getting married taught me how selfish I was," says CeCe. "It makes you accuse
your partner: 'You did this. You did that.' It's not Christlike.
But Alvin and I were hearing God's Word at church and applying it to
our lives. Even just 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto
you is good marriage advice. It boils down to whether you love God more than
you love yourself.
"I've learned to say to God, 'No matter how mad I am, no matter
how right I feel I am, I'll do things your way.'"
The Loves at Work
When CeCe stopped traveling with her brother to launch her solo career, Alvin
figured someone needed to go with her. So he left Xerox and dived headfirst
into managing his wife's career. At first, the Loves traveled as a family,
homeschooling Ashley and Alvin III on the road. This year, they put their
children into junior high and high school and plan to work around the school
schedule as much as possible.
The Loves recently launched their own record label, Wellspring Entertainment.
And they agree that working together has been another blessing in their marriage.
Says Alvin: "I can't believe I ever used to let her get on a plane without
me."
"Alvin and I help each other a lot," says CeCe. "It's amazing how when
I'm upset or mad, he can be so calm and practical. Then the next day,
he'll be upset, and I'll be able to say, 'Ba'y, it's
OK.' We praise God that we can help each other."
After 15 years of marriage, the things that brought Alvin and CeCe together
are still the things they love most about each other.
"People see Alvin in public and think he's so serious, so businesslike,"
says CeCe. "Really, he's a clown. He's a horrible singer. The kids
beg him, 'Daddy, please don't sing!' One time in a hotel room
he lip-synced Stevie Wonder's 'I Just Called to Say I Love You,'
hamming it up. He looks cool, but he's corny."
He may be corny, but he's also smitten.
"The smile, the glow that drew me to CeCe, that's her big heart showing,"
says Alvin. "She loves people and people love her. I have to share her with
her fans and stand off in the background. But I can do it because she's
mine—until death do us part."
Copyright © 2000 by the author or Christianity Today International/Marriage
Partnership magazine. Click here
for reprint information on Marriage Partnership.
Spring 2000, Vol. 17, No. 1, Page 40
Marriage Partnership
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