Home > Marriage > Emotions > Some Enchanted Evening!
Some Enchanted Evening!
If you and your mate miss those warm and tingly nights of romance, use these suggestions to make new sparks fly
Cindy Crosby | posted 9/30/2008
 2 of 4
Mayday! Mayday! Romance killer in progress. What do you do?
Some couples, like novelist Jane Kirkpatrick and her husband, Jerry, use visual cues to signal that a romance crusher has been sighted. When either of them raises a finger, the other takes a deep breath and redirects the conversation for the moment. Other couples have key phrases or words that serve as a signal to the spouse that a romance killer is on the way. A humorous word or phrase can keep things from disintegrating into an argument during a tense moment. For example, one couple uses the phrase land the plane whenever inappropriate topics come up during the wrong time. It breaks the ice, and they laugh and steer the conversation in a new direction.
Say It Loud, Say It Clear
One way to keep things romantic is to challenge yourself to find fresh, more meaningful ways to say "I love you."
"How many unique dozen roses can you give? How can you then top those dozen roses?" asks Joey O'Connor, author of Have Your Wedding Cake and Eat It Too (Word). "We have to envision and communicate what romance means to each of us. … Then we figure out how to realistically meet the needs of our spouse."
Finding out what spells R-O-M-A-N-C-E to your partner means understanding what really makes him or her tick. One of the most romantic moments in my marriage was when my husband had a truckload of topsoil delivered as an anniversary present. Gardening is a major passion of mine, and Jeff knew I was frustrated with the hardpan clay that I couldn't coax into proper condition for my veggies and flowers. He had also overheard me pricing a load of topsoil and sighing and discarding the estimate when I found out the cost.
A Love letter faxed to the office where your wife works will cause her to blush—and be the envy of her co-workers.
Now, dirt is not a present you can brag about at the office. Other guys aren't going to slap you on the back and give you a high-five. And Jeff has about as much interest in gardening as I do in his ongoing collection of Neil Diamond CDs—that is to say, zero. But he guessed—correctly—that I would light up like a Christmas tree when the dumptruck pulled into the driveway.
Romance also means finding the spectacular in the simple. Holding hands and taking a long walk together may say "I love you" more than any words you could mouth. Knowing that your husband loves Heavenly Hash ice cream and stashing some in the freezer as a surprise may speak volumes. A love letter faxed to the office where your wife works will cause her to blush—and be the envy of her co-workers.
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