Sign up for our free newsletter:

 2 of 4

It didn't happen overnight or even in a few months, but with stubborn determination we found ways to reignite our love life. If you've just had a baby, your journey back to a healthy sex life will take time. Consider these factors: the type of birth (Caesarean or vaginal) and the difficulty of the delivery, the temperament of the child and the parents, the amount of support you get from family and others and your job situation.

Our initial rebound from temporary celibacy was followed by years of working at maintaining an intentional love life. You can do it too. Here are four tips.

1. Get some rest. Sleep-deprived spouses are not sexy, so before you can revitalize your love life you'll need to get some rest. Take a nap. Go to bed tonight when you get the kids to sleep. We actually have advised parents to have a sleep date. Get away for 24 hours, but spend the first part of it sleeping. Until you overcome some of your sleep deprivation, you won't be alert enough to concentrate on loving each other.

2. Practice love talk. With adequate rest, both of you will be better able to talk about what you expect from your sex life. It's necessary to discuss each spouse's expectations because they're almost certain to be different. Talk about it until you understand each other. Initiate this intimate conversation in an atmosphere of trust, unconditional love and acceptance. If one partner is reluctant to talk, the other needs to be patient, gentle and accepting. The following questions may help you get started:

• What do you think of when you imagine intimacy and closeness?
• What is romance to you? Do you need romance to set the mood for sex?
• What are the positive factors about your love life?
• What brings you the most sexual fulfillment? What do you think brings your partner the most sexual fulfillment?
• How often would you like to make love?
• How much hugging and cuddling do you need before and after intercourse? Define this in minutes if necessary.
• What are the fantasies you have been hoping to fulfill with each other?
• What changes do you need to make to keep sex fresh and growing?

3. Take marriage vitamins. After you understand each other's expectations, romance your mate at least one time each day by giving each other marriage vitamins, such as these:

• Kiss for ten seconds (this is longer than you think!) every morning when you say good-bye and every evening when you say hello.

next page... |  2 of 4

				Try 3 Issues of Christianity Today Free! Name Street Address City/State/Zip E-mail Address Subscribe to Christianity Today and get 3 free trial issues. No credit card required. Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. Offer valid in U.S. only. If you decide you want to keep Christianity Today coming, honor your invoice for just $19.95 and receive nine more issues, a full year in all. If not, simply write "cancel" across the invoice and return it. The three trial issues are yours to keep, regardless.

RSS Feed   RSS Help