Home > Marriage > Emotions > 10 Things I Used to Hate About You
10 Things I Used to Hate About You
How I learned to appreciate our differences
Phil Callaway | posted 9/30/2008
 2 of 4
That doesn't mean I've come to peace with everything she does. During our first year of marriage, I wanted to follow Martin Luther's example and nail a list of irritations to the bathroom door. I couldn't quite come up with ninety-five theses, but ten came to mind:
1
Your sense of humor is warped. The funniest thing I did this week was hit my head on a cupboard door. You laughed as if I were Peter Sellers. This was not funny to me at the time. It still isn't. Please do not laugh when you read this.
2
A vow of silence is fine for a monk. Our late-night "fights" are as one-sided as a Chicago Cubs game. You grow quiet during arguments. Silence can be a virtue, but it can also be maddening.
3
You are kind to phone salesmen. On our first anniversary a phone call interrupted a candlelight dinner I had prepared. You walked away from a perfectly good (albeit rather burnt) pizza to talk for upwards of two minutes to a complete stranger because you were too polite to hang up.
4
Generosity isn't always a virtue. Last week you made four pies and gave away three. Our tithe to the church now exceeds the ten percent solution Jacob recommended in Genesis 28. You gave ten dollars to the Girl Scouts and the cookies weren't that great.
5
What's next, pickled ice cream? On Wednesday you made banana meatloaf. Meatloaf is bad enough without the fruit. What other recipes do you have? Can we go through them together?
6
Morning is broken. I am a night owl; you rise with the sun. You delight in greeting me early and releasing the shade loudly. Unfortunately, I do not wake up until noon. Please do not sing to me before 8 a.m.—even on my birthday.
7
You are a cheapskate. I wanted to buy a new car and you said, "Sure, or shall we just light 3,000 dollar bills on fire?" You believe we shouldn't spend more than we make. If this were true, why did they invent credit cards?
8
You throw things away. Last week my wool sweater went missing. The one I got for my seventh birthday. If I don't glue things down, they walk away. When we have children will you package them up and send them to the Salvation Army?
9
Necking won't fit on the calendar. I love to do things we haven't planned. Like quick trips to the city, surprise purchases, or necking on a back road to nowhere. You like the necking, but you like to plan for it.
10
I am from Switzerland; you are from Zimbabwe. I love to be on time. You do not. Is this a cultural difference? Meet me in the living room at 8 p.m. sharp and we'll talk about it.
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