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The Appeal of Porn
Why men get hooked
Louis McBurney, M.D.
 1 of 6

Laurie* had collapsed into bed at nine o'clock wiped out, as usual, from eight hours at work, coming home, preparing supper, and getting three school children to bed. She also managed to put a load of laundry into the washer and clean up the kitchen. Her husband, Tim, helped her with the dishes, promised to put the clothes into the dryer, then he kissed her goodnight. Now, something had roused her from sleep enough to realize Tim wasn't lying beside her. She liked it when they went to bed together and felt guilty that she couldn't stay awake with him. But when she looked at the clock, which read 2 a.m., she got miffed. This was the second time this week—that she knew of—that he'd stayed up far past his usual bedtime.
Where is he? Laurie thought. The first night she awoke to find him gone, she just rolled over and fell back asleep. But tonight she couldn't seem to do that. So after a few restless minutes, she got up to find him. She groped her way down the dark hallway and saw a dim light emanating from the family room. Tim's watching tv at this time of night? Laurie thought. What on earth could he be watching? She made her way quietly toward the family room and stopped abruptly, shocked at what she saw. On the screen were several naked women in various sexual activities with a naked and aroused man. Tim was on the couch, equally aroused and so totally transfixed he was unaware of her presence.
Laurie was devastated and didn't know what to do. She felt betrayed, humiliated, furious that he'd do such a disgusting thing. As she gasped in horror and disbelief, Tim looked around and quickly and shamefully turned off the TV, then covered himself with his robe.
Laurie and Tim talked until dawn. She immediately assumed he was addicted to pornography and wondered how long this had been going on. Finally, once she was able to really think and listen to Tim's confession, she was convinced he wasn't addicted. Laurie realized she hadn't seen anything during their marriage to make her suspicious until this week. No unusual phone or Internet charges. No hidden magazines or videos. No subscription bills for adult channels, and until Monday night, no late nights coming to bed.
Tim confessed he'd looked at pornography some in college and a few weeks earlier a guy in his office had called him over to see some Internet site. That exposure had awakened his long abandoned fascination. So he'd rented an x-rated video after work on Monday and watched it that night and tonight.
He didn't try to justify his behavior and was deeply filled with remorse and shame. His confession recalled for both of them the apostle Paul's words in Romans 7:24: "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?"
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