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You should clean within reason, but don't exhaust yourself and stress out so much that you can't even enjoy your company. Remember that you're bound to be harder on yourself than others are on you. Personally, I always find it an endearing quality when I discover that my acquaintances also have their messy corners or piled up workspaces. It makes them human, just like me. There are even times when it's better not to clean too much. When we've had the couples from our Bible study group over with their children—and also when we've entertained the kids' choir from church—I've found it was a better use of my time to scrub floors and vacuum after the festivities.

Basically, just be yourselves. The point of having people over is to get to know each other, not to impress them by being Martha Stewart (an impossible challenge, and you know it!).

You don't have to attempt elaborate and fabulous new recipes to stun others. And unless you've made cooking enough of a hobby that you prefer to cook as an art form, don't start now. Make things you've made before and feel comfortable making. The food doesn't have to be highfalutin because the food is not the main attraction—building relationships is. If you can't cook at all, you can still have folks over to eat by planning potlucks, where everybody who's coming brings something, or by bringing in food. You could even bypass dinner and have friends over for coffee and dessert.

My husband is one of those people who loves to cook and who cooks deliciously and beautifully, so whenever possible he cooks for our friends. When he cooks, he loves to mess with gourmet meat and vegetable recipes and fancy French or Italian pastry desserts. When he's in charge in the kitchen, I get the table ready and pop in-and-out with offers to chop things for him or to load the dishwasher or clean whatever is left in the sink.

When I cook, the menus tend to be simpler, but I still call on David to provide the nice touches, like dressing a salad with his own homemade concoction or arranging things on plates (it always looks better when he does it). David usually does the flowers, but we both mess around with candles or other nice touches on the table. Either way, teamwork comes into play. We're both working on the meal (and during the meal) together.

David and I haven't limited our hospitality just to other couples—although that is perhaps our favorite kind of entertaining. We've had fun with our small children's Sunday school teachers, and with families from church who have teenagers. Sometimes we pick up strays—folks at church whose husband or wife or parents are out of town and might be eating alone. We've had coworkers over, as well as our Bible study friends. People are so interesting and varied, we feel like the world is coming into our home through all these different kinds of people.

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