Sign up for our free newsletter:

 2 of 5

If that is the marriage you want, then before you read any further, I implore you and your spouse to hold hands, look each other in the eye, and say, "Babe, let's run a marathon; let's commit to making time to be together." Write it down; date it. Now, let's make it happen.

One of the vital things you must do after deciding to spend time together is commit to protecting that time from all invaders and marauders, which include the phone, work, household chores, and yes, the children. As you are training yourselves to spend time together, you must train the kids, as well. My wife, Amy, and I have instilled in our children what we call the "Three B Rule." If she and I are having some "connecting time," the kids can only interrupt us if someone is bleeding, someone is broken, or something is burning. Beyond that, they must wait to talk to us. We won't take any phone calls, we don't want what the guy at the door is selling, and the kids can entertain themselves and resolve their own conflicts. Really. This idea may make a marathon look easy, but it can be done.

For those of you without children, the task of making time can still be difficult. Since the wedding is over, you may be more inclined to take the marriage for granted while focusing on careers, a house, or hobbies. The earlier you start training to spend regular time together, the easier and more effective you will be when future stealers of your couple time arrive.

Now, you've decided to make time to be together and to protect it from all intrusion; what's next?

Let me offer ten tips for making time together:

1. Mark your calendar with a specific time. You must set this up just like a business or dentist appointment. If you just say, "Let's spend some time together tonight," those great time-thwarters such as the stacks of mail, laundry, and dishes will rob you.
   
   
2. Make one day a week your calendar time. This is a time when you plan your together times for the week. It can be simply ten to fifteen minutes to arrange calendars, but it is where you write down when you will connect during the coming week. Sunday nights work well.
   
   
3. Plan different types of time. There needs to be time simply talking about our days, time for conflict resolution, and fun only times (dates, cuddles, walks) that we protect from any type of conflict.
   
   

next page... |  2 of 5

				Try 3 Issues of Christianity Today Free! Name Street Address City/State/Zip E-mail Address Subscribe to Christianity Today and get 3 free trial issues. No credit card required. Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. Offer valid in U.S. only. If you decide you want to keep Christianity Today coming, honor your invoice for just $19.95 and receive nine more issues, a full year in all. If not, simply write "cancel" across the invoice and return it. The three trial issues are yours to keep, regardless.

RSS Feed   RSS Help