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Comedians Jeff Tarpley & Sherri Shepherd
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While Jeff Tarpley and Sherri Shepherd are popular comedians (watch for Sherri on the ABC sitcom, Less Than Perfect, and Jeff in numerous commercials), they take their marriage seriously. They have to—they live and work in Hollywood where most people "in the industry" aim for the other person's failure. Here's what they shared with MP:
What's important about your marriage?
Jeff: We balance each other. Sherri makes more money than I do. While it would be easy for me to get chauvinistic, God's taught me to say, "Sherri's taking care of this aspect of our lives, so what do I need to take care of?" Sherri doesn't like confrontation. So I can be her buffer. For instance, Sherri needed to confront a friend. But she'd avoided it for years! So I prayed with her for strength and went with her to the woman's house. I couldn't confront the woman for her, but I sat there with her as a support.
Sherri: One of my weaknesses is that I'm a yes person. I've learned to say, "Let me check with my husband." Jeff doesn't mind being the bad guy.
How do you strengthen each other spiritually?
Sherri: I can't force Jeff to be on my spiritual timetable. When I pray about something rather than nag my husband about it, I see changes. I'll nag him about something and he'll tense up, withdraw, and do nothing. Then I'll finally pray, "Lord, this isn't working. Change in me whatever has to be changed," and I let it go. Then Jeff will say, "You know what? I've decided we're going to do this." I'll think, Wait a minute. Didn't I … ? That's when I'll sense God say, Stop thinking you're me.
What have you discovered about yourself through your marriage?
Jeff: There are certain things I've had to let go. For instance, Sherri will make coffee and leave the cream on the counter. The next morning she'll say, "I just bought this cream. I don't know why it's curdling." That's when I take a breath, pray, and say, "I can't get angry. It grates on me, but she's forgetful." Then I move on.
Sherri: I'm junky. We sleep on the edge of the bed because I have clothes everywhere. Jeff doesn't get mad, so I take it for granted. But every day I wake up and pray, "Lord, show me what you want me to do. I want to share your love and grace to somebody." And God says, "Just pick up your bra off the floor." That's all God's been telling me for the last year! "But God, I want to do great things for you." "Just pick up your bra." Hey, I'm working on it.
2002 by the author or Christianity Today International/Marriage Partnership magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Marriage Partnership.
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