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Armed with my plan, I went to Helen and apologized for how I'd treated her, then I shared the dieting idea with her. And she agreed. I didn't have to worry about counting calories and constantly asking her the amount of calories every time I sat down to eat. And she didn't have to fix two different meals. Besides, she'd no longer be tempted to eat food that wasn't on her diet when she was cooking my meals. We made the following agreement:

1. We'd consult our physician about our idea.
   
   
2. Helen would plan our meals based on her low-fat diabetic diet.
   
   
3. We'd grocery shop together and encourage each other to stick to our meal plans.
   
   
4. When we ate out, we'd be sensitive to each other's diet and pick menus that help each other to eat healthy.
   
   
5. We'd exercise together at least three times a week.
   
   

Now, nine months later, we've succeeded! At the end of each day, we feel as if we've accomplished something wonderful—as a team we've stuck to our diets and exercise program. Helen's lost 20 pounds and has been able to reduce her diabetic medication; I've lost 18 pounds and dropped my cholesterol level from 231 to 201 (and my "bad" cholesterol from 159 to 131). Our sex life has improved and our relationship is stronger.

When I was forced to "walk in Helen's shoes," God taught me how not to nag or criticize, but to be more sympathetic to my wife's fight to keep her weight under control. And I discovered that we truly can do all things through Christ who gives us strength (Philippians 4:13)—even dieting and exercising.

Barry W. Kennedy, CEO of Kennedy Consulting Solutions and freelance author, lives in Oregon. Visit Barry at www.barrykennedy.com.

Studies have shown that couples who diet and exercise together are more successful—both with their lifestyle and their marriage. Here's how you can work together for a healthier you.

Listen to each other's problems without trying to solve them. Practice reassuring each other. For example, when Helen has difficulty with her diet, I listen and say, "We can do this together."

Praise each other. Feeling good about your weight loss progress is essential to keeping on track. Look for opportunities to praise each other in private and public. I recently bragged on how great Helen looked in her new dress. She beamed and said, "You look great, too." That makes us want to keep healthy.

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