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I knew he was lying. I told him he was caught on a surveillance tape, and there was no bank. "I was never going to do anything," he said. "I was getting ready to pull away when I was surrounded by the police." When I confronted his lies again, he fell silent and refused to discuss it anymore. Michael did tell me that if I walked away from our marriage, he wouldn't have the opportunity to show me the beautiful life we could still have together. Then he asked for my forgiveness. I felt empty and lost. I just wanted the marriage to be over.

We barely spoke the next couple of days except to argue more about what he'd done. I spent hours reading my Bible and self-help books trying to find a word, a sentence, something that could put all of this in perspective. But nothing seemed to help. I was blind-sided by Michael's action and became paranoid and suspicious. I questioned every minute of my husband's whereabouts.

Finally I called my sister, Heather, who lived miles away, and told her what had happened. After listening to my story, she prayed for me over the phone. As she prayed I felt God draw near to me; I cried as I felt him touch my heart and ease my pain. God used Heather's prayer and my tears to begin a healing process, and I knew I'd have to hold close to God if I was going to make it through.

One Scripture verse stuck in my mind: "When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you; your troubles will not overwhelm you. When you pass through fire, you will not be burned; the hard trials that come will not hurt you" (Isaiah 43:2, TEV). I was going to have to believe in that to pull my marriage back together. While I knew it wouldn't be easy, I knew it was possible. I still wasn't sure I wanted my marriage back together—even though later that week during another argument, Michael finally did admit to soliciting a prostitute. He asked again for forgiveness and seem to be sincere about his remorse. So after a lot more prayer and tears, I chose to stay and forgive him.

As the weeks turned into months, I still struggled continually and could barely handle everyday routines as I slipped into a deep depression. Just getting out of bed or brushing my teeth was a task. I cried at a moment's notice for no reason and emotionally began to lose it. Michael grew tired of my insecurity and constant rehashing of what he'd done and was irritated that I couldn't put this situation behind me. That was part of my problem: While I said I accepted and forgave my husband's offense, I couldn't get past it. I brought it up in numerous conversations until it was becoming an exhausted subject. I tried to reach out and talk to other people, but no one had ever been through this type of betrayal and was uncomfortable discussing it.

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