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Since you connected the problems of frequency to having children, my second question is, How does your husband feel about the possibility of you becoming pregnant sooner rather than later? Sometimes when men feel a bit fearful about parenthood, they try to minimize their risk of fatherhood by limiting the possibility of impregnation. If that's what your husband is thinking, reassure him that today's forms of birth control are extremely effective. And if he's still nervous about it, lay off for those few days in your cycle when you're most fertile.

You also asked about the possibility of a physical problem. It's possible he has a low testosterone level, which could be determined with a simple blood test. He can probably schedule that without a physician's examination. Then, based on the results, he'd find whether he needed any treatment or follow-up. Perhaps you could suggest he at least take that step.

Finally, you may want to reconsider your assumption that frequency of sex will decrease after children come along. That isn't necessarily so. We've known many couples who've increased their frequency after children come along. You may find the same thing happens in your marriage!

Q. My husband isn't interested in hygiene—and it's a huge turnoff to me, to the point where I don't want to have sex with him. I've tried to say things such as, "Honey, where's that good smelling cologne I bought for you?" Is there something I can do?

A. Good try with the cologne! That sort of gentle hint works with some guys. Then there are others who are olfactory challenged and don't have a clue. Smells as though you got one of those.

There are two approaches you might try. The first may appeal to his machismo, but requires the right equipment. If you have a big enough and non-slip shower—invite him to play around with you there. Tell him the idea of showering together really lathers you up. Then you can lather him up with some good smelling gel. It might work.

The second is more direct but may be better in the long run. Make a date with him to talk then use a non-threatening "preamble" to set the stage. You could say, "Darling (or "Dimples" or "Brute"), I have a problem I can't seem to solve and I really need your help." That usually appeals to a man's need to be a fixer of things not working. Then tell him you have an overdeveloped sense of smell and that the doctor (McBurney) said that's directly connected to your sexual response center. The doctor pointed out that different smells are a definite turn-on or turn-off for many women and you're one of those. The problem is that your highly sensitive system makes you vulnerable to such things as … (fill in the blanks). One of those is male body odor. So it's hard for you to become sexually stimulated when you're exposed to that and even though you really want to make love, your hypothalamus shuts you down.

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