Home > Marriage > Spirituality > Spiritually Alone
Spiritually Alone
10 ways to motivate your disinterested spouse
David Clarke. | posted 9/30/2008
 2 of 4
Model a vibrant Christian life. You're the best advertisement for a relationship with Jesus that your spouse will ever see. Your mate won't be interested in Christ if your spiritual life is blah.
Let him see you meeting regularly with God for personal prayer, Bible study, and devotions. If you have children, lead family devotions at least once a week. Invite him, but hold the family meeting even if he refuses to attend or is opposed to them. Every night, pray with each child before bedtime. Even if your spouse won't go with you, attend church every week with the kids.
3. Spiritually bond with a friend. We all need to bond spiritually with someone. If it can't be with your spouse, connect with a same-sex friend.
Find a Christian friend with whom you can pray, worship, read the Bible, be accountable, and discuss spiritual things. Those times will be encouraging and supportive for you, and sometimes may be the only thing that keeps you going.
And it's okay to vent from time to time. Ask your friend to listen as you "dump" your accumulated emotions that come with living with a spiritually disinterested spouse. This is a time to genuinely express your emotions.
4. Share your spiritual life with your mate. Ask your spouse if it's okay for you to tell him about your spiritual life periodically. Assure him it will take only five minutes once or twice a week and that all he has to do is listen. Tell him your faith is an integral part of you and that you'll feel closer to him if you can share it.
Share how God is guiding and teaching you. Reveal spiritual triumphs and disappointments. Mention what you're praying for, and tell him God's answers to your prayers. Don't let his apparent lack of interest discourage you. Keep letting him see—in small glimpses—what God is doing in your life. Speak only about yourself—your feelings and experiences. Don't ask him questions, and don't try to elicit a response. Your brief updates will expose him to God and help him become more aware of God's presence.
5. Tell him what he may not see. Tell him when you see God working in his life: "I think God is talking to you through that situation at work." Point out how Christ can help him in difficult times: "You don't have to face this alone—God promises always to be with us." Use examples from friends and neighbors to illustrate spiritual truths: "God really saved the Smiths' marriage. Sally told me their faith pulled them through that hard time."
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