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That same modernist spirit is at work in the juggernaut that seems bent on normalizing same-sex marriage. May God bless the resistance: Matt Daniels and the Alliance for Marriage for promoting the Federal Marriage Amendment. Rep. Marilyn Musgrave (R.-Colo.) and her 75 colleagues cosponsoring the Amendment in Congress. And Maggie Gallagher for elucidating the cultural consequence of legalizing same-sex marriage.

Still, the local church has a key role in recreating a biblical understanding of marriage in our society.

First, we must admit that the church's current record is dismal. Divorce statistics inside the church are indistinguishable from those outside.

Second, we need to repent for allowing our culture's blind abandon toward expressive individualism to permeate the way many of our churches relate to marriage, divorce, and remarriage.

Third, we need to restore the community context of marriage. A married couple is more than the sum of its parts. It's a thread in a community fabric. Societies are built out of people who are loyal to one another and who work and sacrifice for the common good. Expressive individualism is a poor foundation for a society, and marriages so conceived don't build loyalties or give us practice in sacrificial service. Marriages and families should be schools for service.

Fourth, we need to recover the sense of human limitation inherent in marriage and family life. This is the beautiful biblical picture: a two-gendered, complementary couple improving on and channeling nature, but neither conquering it nor twisting it.

Modernism is about conquering nature, but marriage is about living with nature. Illness and irritating habits, economic reverses and recalcitrant children—these things give us practice in living with limits. Sing Me to Heaven is Margaret Kim Peterson's affecting memoir of building a marriage in the face of limitations. Knowing that her husband had a terminal illness from the beginning helped her realize that marriage isn't choosing a future; it's choosing a partner with whom to face the future. And to varying degrees, that always involves living with limits as "helpers suitable for each other."

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