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While I don't pretend to be a Bible scholar, I can give you the Leman translation: Paul is telling us he wants us to do it. And if we want to stop for prayer, that's okay. And then what I love about this great saint of the church is that he wants us to do it again!

Now, if talking to your husband, I'd remind him that one of the all-time great biblical lines is, "Love does not demand its own way" (1 Corinthians 13:5, NLT). When a guy tries to use 1 Corinthians 7 to get his wife to do something kinky or distasteful to her, that's not what Paul is talking about.

Marriage is an exercise in mutual submission. Admittedly, there are times you're too pooped to whoop; but if you're the only one too pooped, you may be willing to whoop anyway because you know that will please your spouse.

Here's a common scenario: a husband wakes up early with incontrovertible physical evidence that Mr. Happy is ready to go "dancing." He looks over and there's his wife, sleeping. With a glance at the clock, he notices that it's 6:15 and they don't have to get up until 7:00.

Forty-five minutes! he thinks. Man, what I could do in 45 minutes!

He then starts to communicate in a way only a man would think effective—he reaches his toe over to his wife's side of the bed and pokes her. When that doesn't work, he might become more direct and grab a breast, fully expecting, even after 15 years of marriage, that this grab will turn her into a raging sex kitten: "Why honey, I was waiting all night for you to wake me up by grabbing my breast!" Or—my favorite—he'll look at a woman who's snoring like a donkey and ask loudly, "Honey, are you asleep?"

If the marriage is a selfish one, the man will hear all sorts of defenses: "We'll wake the children." "I'm tired."

If the marriage is a selfless but nonfulfilling one, the wife may acquiesce with all the enthusiasm of someone reading the phone book.

If the marriage is a satisfied one, both parties will see the other's side. The man may realize his wife needs her sleep and, because of his love for her, lets her get that sleep. Or the wife may sacrificially decide that giving her body with joy to her husband is more important than those few minutes of slumber.

Some of these interludes, although they may start off rocky, can end up being great. But in so many marriages, when a spouse gets turned down, the seeds of bitterness are planted to the point where, later that day, the wife asks the husband to go to the grocery store and he says, "No, I can't."

"Why not? You're just watching the game."

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