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Marriage Partnership, Summer 2005
Destination: Vacation
How to get away from it all—for less
By Ellie Kay
Sam and Gina haven't had a real vacation in almost five years. Between the "necessary evil" expenses—the mortgage, car payments, utilities, their three kids' school and activity costs, insurance, credit card debt—there just doesn't seem to be anything left over for expendable funds such as a vacation.
"And we don't want to put a vacation on our credit cards," says Gina. "We've already got too much debt!"
Good news: There is a way to have a memory-making summer holiday break without breaking the bank.
Timeshares
Why not share your time with timeshares? Some couples receive several weeks on their ownership program each year, and sometimes they can't use them all. Anne, from New Mexico, uses two of her three timeshare weeks and then "tithes" the other week to a couple on a tight budget.
Most timeshare owners pay an average of $250 for the week. If you can't find a solo timeshare, consider sharing space with a friend or family member. There might be a family in your neighborhood, church, work, or community who's willing to split that fee and share the space. Or you could offer to pay the week's worth of fees, because $250 is still an inexpensive rate for a week's worth of fun at a nice resort.
What to know before you go: (1) Be sure you agree on a price before you take over someone's timeshare. (2) Ask the other party about any and all expenses--including cleaning fees and maintenance charges. (3) Make sure you know what facilities are available. You may assume you have access to a full kitchen, and budget accordingly, only to discover there are no such amenities. Ask also about laundry facilities, recreation perks, parking, and any clubhouse benefits.
Vacation with friends
If you have friends you like a lot and think your friendship can survive vacationing together, then double up and cut your bills in half.
The Greaveses and the Mortons tried this, and enjoyed it so much they made it an "every other year" tradition.
The normal price of a week-long mountain cabin rental with three bedrooms was $900. "We made sure we knew all the costs ahead of time," says Loretta Greaves. Each family paid $450 and their own gas.
You don't have to rent a cabin to double up with another family. There are many different options available on www.findrental.com. Suite hotels that offer extra rooms are also a possibility, such as the ones found at www.orbitz.com or www.cheaphotels.com.
For those who love the outdoors, sharing campsite fees or RV rentals can lower the price of a camping adventure. At www.RVRental.com you can find rentals across the country that range from $117 to $385 per day. Depending on the RV, other charges to consider are hospitality, kitchen, and/or emergency road kits. (These kits usually include the essentials you'll need to maintain and operate the RV.) Be aware that cleaning fees will apply if the RV isn't returned in the same condition.
What to know before you go: (1) Set ground rules or expectations before you hit the road. Discuss private family time, or couples only time. If you have younger children, this can be a great opportunity to swap babysitting to have a night out without the kids. (2) Talk about if you want the vacation to be more structured or more flexible. If your needs differ, consider each family going separate ways during the day, then getting together for supper and evening fun.
Home swaps
The idea of swapping homes has been around a long time, but is gaining popularity thanks to the ever increasing number of web-based exchange services such as www.homelink.org, www.intervac.org, and www.homeexchange.com. Many swappers like the ease of listing their homes and the opportunity to visit places they might never have considered. The other advantage is that instead of leaving your empty house as burglar-bait, you have a built-in caretaker while you're away.
Most exchange services charge $30 to $110 per year. (Be sure you ask about the total charges at the time you list your home.) If the listed date for a specific location isn't within your desired time frame, e-mail one of the swappers and ask if they could be flexible.
The key question is: Is it safe to turn over your home to a stranger? But home swappers (and exchange services) report remarkably few problems. According to Dan Akst, a writer for MSN Money, "Home exchangers tend to be prosperous, mature, well-educated professionals—not the types most likely to trash your home." These agencies conduct a general background check and track the prospective "swapper's" swapping history. If you live in an area that isn't in high demand, then your possibilities may be limited. But you may be surprised at the number of foreign families who'd love to absorb a small town or Midwest environment.
This alternative is especially attractive to families with young children, for whom hotel stays and lots of restaurant meals are impractical and often not enjoyable. One strategy is to swap with families who also have children, thereby adopting a kid-friendly home.
Your main expense will be travel costs. For the best airfares, go to www.cheaptickets.com, www.expedia.com, and www.travelocity.com.
Most rookie swappers try an exchange near home to get their feet wet before they swap with a family in Italy or Bora-Bora. A family of four in New York, purchasing advanced-fare discounted tickets at $229 each, could pay the $85 swap fee and visit Paris for only $991. The Kongers, a newlywed couple, chose this option and discovered the joys of a Parisian home for only $600 and made friends with their new "neighbors" in the swap!
What to know before you go: (1) Leave instructions or a user's manual for your home. (2) Check with your insurance company to make sure the new family is covered. (3) And don't expect the Taj Mahal.
Volunteer your way
When Mac Thompson decided to start a second career in his forties, he and his wife, Dina, suddenly found their vacation budget greatly reduced. They opted to go to a Christian campground in Colorado where they'd previously vacationed—this time as staff. Despite an increased workload, they had plenty of family time with a ministry emphasis. "We saved a lot of money and had a great vacation, but the real blessing was in teaching our children the benefits of serving other people," says Mac.
Instead of paying $1,000 for the week, they had a working vacation for free. While not all campgrounds offer this trade-off, if your family enjoys the great outdoors, it would be worth your time to contact a local retreat center or campground. Go to www.acacamps.org for the American Camping Association or try www.google.com and enter your state and "Christian campground" to find a location near you.
Wilderness Volunteers, www.wildernessvolunteers.org, is a nonprofit organization that offers people of all ages a chance to help maintain national parks, forests, and wilderness areas across the United States. Everything from trail maintenance to re-vegetation projects are on the agenda. Participants provide their own camping gear and share campsite chores. Most Wilderness Volunteer trips last about a week and cost around $219 per person.
What to know before you go: This option is best for families with older children, since some work will be involved.
No matter what your budget, it's important to invest in a meaningful time for your marriage and family. In years to come, you may not recall the price of the condominium or quality of the room service. But you'll always remember the special times spent with people you love. You won't regret the investment because the memories are priceless.
Ellie Kay, MP regular contributor, is author of The Debt Diet (Bethany House). Visit Ellie at www.elliekay.com.
7 Vacation Romance Moments
It can be difficult to cultivate "romance moments" with your spouse while on vacation with the kids. But couple moments can happen if you grab them when and where you can without disconnecting from the family.
Beach Time. Don't simply sunbathe! Get in the water and make some waves. Snuggle, tickle, and chase each other.
Balcony Dates. Select a room with a view and while the kids are asleep or watching a movie, have coffee on the veranda under the stars.
Flowers Anyone? Surprise your mate with a bouquet from a street vendor.
Presents. Before your vacation, wrap a few inexpensive, yet meaningful gifts. Place one on your mate's pillow each night. (Be discreet or the kids will ask where their present is!)
Touch. Grab your spouse's hand and give him a kiss under the moonlight.
Carriage Ride. Let your kids ride in the front of a carriage while you snuggle in the back.
Reflection Time. Schedule a "date" at the end of each day to share what you felt was your "most romantic moment" and why—you may be surprised at what you learn about each other!
—EK
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"What We Didn't Do on Our Summer Vacation"
We desperately needed a break.
Between my husband's college classes and our work, we were exhausted. So when my husband, Dave, said, "Let's take a week off," I readily agreed.
The problem was that we couldn't decide where to go, and we had an extremely tight budget. I wanted structure; Dave craved spontaneity. Trying to meet both our needs and still find something we could afford just felt like more work!
Later that evening, I started a list titled "What our five-day vacation will not include." It comprised such items as motel expenses, routine and monotony (no eating or shopping in places we'd been before), and learning. I wanted to be entertained, not educated.
I listed "camping." Since our camper hadn't been used in more than a year, we'd have to clean it out, pack it up, fold it down, hook it up, and pull it behind … in order to go somewhere we could rest.
I listed "packing," because lugging suitcases up and down stairs, and in and out of the car, wouldn't be restful. Anything we'd take would be packed the morning we left, and if it didn't fit in a backpack, it didn't go.
Finally, I listed "long distance driving." While elevated gas prices were a factor, so was the desire to slow down and explore. After all, if we wanted to sit in the car, we could do that in our garage.
I showed the list to Dave, and we customized a vacation to meet our needs: five different day trips within a 300-mile radius of home for under $450. We loosely planned the week, not deciding what we'd do until we got up each morning.
To kick off our vacation, we drove to an unfamiliar city, with only a small backpack for two, packed a half-hour before we left home. At the motel (not a chain) we requested a king-sized bed to be different from our queen. (We even jumped on the bed before checking out!)
By the end of that first day, we already felt refreshed physically, spiritually, and emotionally, and were on the way to reconnecting with each other through play and rest. We began to re-enjoy each other as spouses and friends.
The rest of the week, we went to the zoo, dined in an outdoor cafÉ, explored local hobby stores, played mini-golf, and ate our way through a restored Civil War town with historical restaurants, exquisite tea rooms, and shops. A tour of a mega-church gave us a different perspective from our small church.
Mid-week, we spent a day at home with no housework, no paying bills, and no cooking. We read, napped, and snacked. The evening temperature was an unseasonable 57 degrees, so we slept all night in front of the fireplace (camping, without the hassle!).
On Friday, we went to a water park and pulled out all the stops on thrill rides, roller coasters, kiddy rides, and water rides. By the time we left the park, we were played out! Yet we were also rested, having met all the criteria for our vacation.
Your criteria may be different, depending on whether you have a houseful of children or an empty nest. The most important rule is to identify what you need a break from, and deliberately exclude it from your activities. Let each family member contribute an item to the "don't do" list. By deciding clearly what not to do with your time, you'll maximize your opportunity to rest and reconnect.
—Constance Fink
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Copyright © 2005 by the author or Christianity Today International/Marriage Partnership magazine. Click here for reprint information on Marriage Partnership.
Summer 2005, Vol. 22, No. 2, Page 26
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