Home > Marriage > 24/7 > Are You Saying ... ?
Are You Saying ... ?
Make sure you hear what your spouse really means.
by Gary D. Chapman | posted 9/12/2008
 2 of 2
Misunderstandings sometimes cause intense emotional pain. "I think we need to get on a diet" is what he said. "He thinks I'm fat and ugly" is what she heard.
"I wish you wouldn't drive so fast" might be her attempt to keep him from getting a ticket. What he heard was, "She thinks I'm irresponsible, so she has to be my mother."
Neither understood what the other meant, and their misinterpretation caused pain and resentment for days. Their intimacy has been diminished by lack of clarity. Taking time to clarify your spouse's meaning can heal an emotional infection before it becomes serious.
Gary D. Chapman, Ph.D., a marriage and relationship expert, is best-selling author of The Five Love Languages (Moody) and Covenant Marriage (Broadman & Holman).
Copyright © 2005 by the author or Christianity Today International/Marriage Partnership magazine. Click here for reprint information on Marriage Partnership.
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