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Making Our Own Way
Our childhood Christmas traditions didn't work for us. But why was finding new ones so difficult?
By Eric Reed | posted 9/12/2008
 2 of 4
According to my family's regulations, it was the number of boxes that counted and (my mother's twist) the effort behind the wrapping. What's more fun than painstakingly removing the tape from a dozen meticulously crafted packages so we can "save the beautiful paper for next year!"? So the number of gifts under our tree multiplied. Donna and I labored lovingly over the selections and the containers, but such gifting is always marked by doubts: Did she like the bracelet? Was I surprised when I saw the pocket watch? By the time we scrunched and bagged the wrappings, we should have set our celebration curbside with them. It rang hollow. Sometimes, I knew she was disappointed, and, frankly, some years so was I.
Agreeing that neither of us really needed anything, we adopted the "memorable events" approach to tradition for the next few years. I recall that final whirlwind December in which we saw the Radio City Rockettes and Handel's Messiah, two cantatas and a children's musical, dinner-theater Annie, and the big downtown Christmas parade. We hosted two luncheons for our co-workers. We caroled with the youth group at a nursing home, singing Silent Night at deafening decibels for the hearing impaired. We attended three Christmas Eve services—one at our church, one where a friend of mine was preaching, and finally, a midnight service. Afterward we searched for a secluded spot to sip hot chocolate (I secretly hoped for a waffle), but all the pancake houses were shuttered for the night.
Exhausted by the season, we slept through most of Christmas Day. Too tired to cook Christmas dinner, we ordered Chinese, and over lo-mein, the short tradition of grand celebrations sputtered to an end.
A change of scene
Careers, in God's providence, caused us to move far from the families who had made our old traditions worthy of scrapbooking.
In a new home, in a new town, new friends invited us over to watch their kids open presents. We declined, not wanting to horn in on their family time. Others welcomed us for Christmas dinners that only made us long for home cooking. We never felt lonelier than in the few days between the last Christmas cantata and boxing up the tree. Why was it so difficult, at the time of year when everything else is so sweet and tender, for us to connect emotionally? My traditions didn't satisfy us. Her traditions didn't satisfy us. Why couldn't we come up with new and fulfilling holiday observances as a married couple? After all, we're both believers, and we agree Christ should be the center of our lives.
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