Home > Marriage > Better Sex > Perfect Bodies Equal Perfect Sex
Perfect Bodies Equal Perfect Sex
And other lies we believe.
By Teri Looney
 1 of 3
I remember feeling queasy the first time I heard the idea: if your love life seems stale, send the kids to a neighbor's house, prepare a candlelight dinner, and greet your man at the front door swathed only in Saran Wrap. First of all, Saran Wrap isn't cheap and I'm a size 12. Second, do I really want to send my husband the subliminal message that I'm just "leftovers"? And third, what happens if I get too close to those candles?
After careful thought I decided to keep the Saran Wrap in the kitchen where it belongs. Instead, in our intimate moments together, I choose to think of myself as a beautifully wrapped gift from God to my husband. This choice isn't always an easy one. Today's culture lies to us about God's gift of sexuality. See if any of these common misconceptions are robbing you and your spouse of the joy God intends for you to experience at the most intimate level.
Lie #1: Sex is just doing what comes naturally.
Truth: It takes work to maintain a satisfying sexual relationship.
Get educated about your body and your mate's body. Your library or local bookstore has excellent materials on the way our bodies work. Check out A Celebration of Sex by Douglas Rosenau or When Two Become One by Christopher and Rachel McCluskey. Explore what feels good to you.
Push through your discomfort and ask questions about his anatomy. Where he likes to be touched. What turns him on. Then share with him some of your turn-ons or in what ways you two could make your sex life even better.
One wise woman I know takes the time to identify the several days of each month when her desire is likely to be the highest, and she makes sure she and her husband have the opportunity for intimacy. (For most women this would be days 12-16 of their cycle, counting from the first day of the menstrual flow.) It's a win/win situation.
Lie #2: Perfect bodies equal perfect sex.
Truth: A beautiful body doesn't guarantee a satisfying relationship.
A recent tabloid headline caught my eye at the grocery store. It asked, "Why do these men cheat on Hollywood's most beautiful women?" Taking care of our physical bodies honors God; worshiping our physical bodies does not. When we obsess about our appearance and compare ourselves to some ideal, we're flirting with disaster. While a healthy diet and appropriate exercise keep us functioning at our best, until we get our glorified bodies in heaven, we must deal with imperfection. Don't let the impossible standards of the culture cheat you and your husband. Give yourself freedom to enjoy the gift with the body God has given you.
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