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Truth: Both are equally important. In general, men experience a greater need for physical intimacy and women require more emotional closeness. But in a growing number of marriages, it's actually the opposite, where the woman feels the greater need sexually.

God intends for the differences to draw us together, not separate us. "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them" (Genesis 1:27).

It takes both masculine and feminine qualities to mirror God's character. Think of magnets. The opposite poles attract while the similar poles repel. Both components are equally important to a healthy marriage. So the next time you become tempted to judge your spouse harshly because he or she isn't "like you" sexually or emotionally, remember that God created your spouse different on purpose—for you both to grow and be stretched … emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Truth: It's a rare couple who does not deal with challenges in the bedroom.

Some problems prove temporary and resolve with time, prayer, and patience. For issues such as abuse, unfaithfulness, pornography, and other distortions of sexuality, the help of a therapist can be invaluable. On a physical level, the body is God's most complex creation. Sometimes things don't work as they should. These breakdowns occur more frequently as we age. Don't hesitate to bring up sexual issues with your physician. Ask for a referral to a specialist if your doctor doesn't feel equipped to help you. But the important thing to remember is you're not alone. Others deal with these same issues.

Truth: "Yes" means nothing if there isn't the option of "no."

It's our commitment to love that challenges us to say "yes" as often as we can. Also, I've found that I can honor my spouse even in the way I say "no." "Honey, I'm really tired tonight. How about if we set the alarm 30 minutes early?" Or, "This is a bad time of the month for me, but I know I'll feel better in a couple days. How about a date for Saturday?" Just be sure that the delayed "yes" ends up being a "yes." For many husbands, sex provides the most satisfying way to offer and receive love. When I say "yes" to my spouse, I'm accepting his love for me and affirming mine for him.

Certainly there are times when "yes" is a choice to put my mate's needs before mine. But it is a choice and one that puts me squarely in the middle of God's grace and provision.

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