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A Piercing Silence
What I learned when I finally got quiet enough to let God speak
By Renny Gehman
 1 of 4
When we were newly married, my husband, Bob, joined the Air Force and was accepted into the accelerated master's program in management at MIT—and the Air Force was paying for it. The opportunity awed and excited us.
Then classes started. All of a sudden study habits loomed large. Our days became filled with the same conversation: "Bob, don't you need to study?"
"I'll get to it."
"Bob, isn't that finance paper due Friday?"
"Stop bugging me about it!"
I was afraid for the future—what if Bob failed a course? Would the Air Force court-martial him? I didn't think so, but I didn't want to find out!
My fears crystallized around Statistics and Probability, a self-paced, pass/fail course in which you studied a chapter, took the test, and moved on if you passed. Bob hated the course; to his engineer's mind it was "voodoo math" and not worth his effort. So he avoided it. Although he went to class, he barely cracked a book.
So here we were, days before the term's end, and Bob had 15 chapters to finish. I was frantic.
"Bob, aren't you going to work on Stats?"
"Nope."
"What if you don't finish?"
"I'll finish."
"What if you get an F?"
"Then I'll get an F."
"But what will the Air Force do?"
"Probably nothing," he said, becoming frustrated.
"Don't you care about our future?"
"Would you leave me alone!"
I stormed to bed in tears. Bob stayed at the table, working (not on statistics, I'm sure).
"I'm so afraid and angry, God!" I prayed. "Bob is so insensitive. He's being unreasonable and careless with this great opportunity." On and on I complained about Bob's shortcomings.
I'd worked up quite a stew when, softly but forcefully, I heard, "Will you be quiet!"
It wasn't Bob; it was a small voice inside my head.
I stopped my list of grievances and heard the Holy Spirit whisper, "You're making so much noise that Bob can't hear me!"
The image was clear: Bob studying in his chair, me chattering into one ear, God standing patiently by the other trying to get a word in. He couldn't, of course, because I kept interrupting!
I was stunned as I realized I was part of the problem. For the first time in a long time, I sat quietly and listened to what God had to say—mainly, that I wasn't my husband's conscience or his Holy Spirit.
"You're right, God," I whispered. "It's your job to make sure Bob graduates. Our future is in your hands, not mine."
Then I picked up my Bible to see what else God had to say about silence. I discovered the writer of Ecclesiastes had something to say about my predicament: There's "a time to be silent and a time to speak" (Ecclesiastes 3:7). I'd overdone the speaking, leaving no time for silence. With no balance in our communication, I'd put us out of step with each other. I'd destroyed the rhythm of our communication.
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