Sign up for our free newsletter:

 2 of 5

I don't know when I began to recognize I was too fond of Michael for my own good—and his. I think the reality blast came the morning I woke up after seeing Michael smiling at me in my dreams.

"Lord, this is ridiculous," I argued. "I love my husband. I'd never have an affair. Besides, Michael and I work for a Christian organization."

I insisted that nothing about our friendship was inappropriate. I felt I'd be vain to think Michael felt the same attraction.

But now Michael's gaze shattered my denial.

The next week I received confirmation that I needed to watch my footing. A new acquaintance, Teri, admitted that she was rebuilding her marriage. It had almost been destroyed when, a few years earlier, her casual friendship with a man in her church had turned into an affair.

"How do you know when you're getting too close?" I tried to sound casual, but stumbled as I confessed, "I think I may be too attracted to a man in my office."

"If you even think you might be, you probably are," she replied wryly. "One of the signs I ignored was that he and I joked constantly with each other. We ignored everyone else in the group. I remember once he even stopped me after a church committee meeting and thanked me for the attention I'd given him. At first neither of us would admit we were blatantly flirting."

Hmm. That wasn't such an issue for me. Michael and I were always in meetings together, but we acted professionally.

However, her next words froze me.

"I also realized I was primping more when he was around …"

I turned crimson. When Michael entered my office, I tended to whoosh my hair from my face. I sat straighter and made sure I looked good when I knew I'd encounter him.

As I reflected, I found a few other signs that indicate an inappropriate intimacy may be developing.

All our relationships have varied degrees of closeness. And we're naturally drawn to some people more than others. So how can we know where the line is?

A first signal I found was that I could talk to Michael about anything. Although our conversations never included sexual discussions, I talked to him about things I never discussed with my other coworkers. An even better measurement was when I realized how my discussions would change if my husband were present. I had to admit I'd feel uncomfortable and disloyal if Jon knew how deeply I was sharing my life with Michael.

Besides whooshing my hair around Michael, I'd instantly turn to him when he wandered into my office. If my skirt felt short, I'd tug it down, or I might pull at my blouse to cover more cleavage. Although I was hiding my skin, I was conscious of it when he was in the room. As Michael and I talked, my gestures became more animated and my face more expressive. We shared more intense eye contact than people do in casual conversations. And I caught myself "working my eyes," widening them in interest in response to his words.

next page... |  2 of 5

				Try 3 Issues of Christianity Today Free! Name Street Address City/State/Zip E-mail Address Subscribe to Christianity Today and get 3 free trial issues. No credit card required. Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. Offer valid in U.S. only. If you decide you want to keep Christianity Today coming, honor your invoice for just $19.95 and receive nine more issues, a full year in all. If not, simply write "cancel" across the invoice and return it. The three trial issues are yours to keep, regardless.

RSS Feed   RSS Help